Joanne’s Handbag (fiction)

Joanne’s Handbag

She was so excited when she first got me. I was glossy black with gold-coloured zips, much better than the tacky bag that was falling to pieces she was carrying around with her. I had all these hidden pockets and she immediately began stuffing things into them. One of them still has a pair of 3D glasses for the cinema which she hasn’t taken out in a long time. And then she began taking me everywhere and showing me to her friends who all seemed very impressed with me. I was so proud.

These days she usually stuffs me with her wallet, her phone, and a reusable shopping bag. In the front pocket there are tissues, spare paper, a pen and pencil, emergency lipstick, and some peppermints that seem to have been there for a while now. Occasionally she puts her Magic decks and containers of dice in me. I reckon she has to be a brilliant Magic player, but I’m biased. Even when she loses she’s amazing. Sometimes she overstuffs me and I become bulging and pillow shaped. I don’t like it when she does that. She’s extended my strap so she can wear me across her body rather than leave me hanging on her right shoulder. I feel so safe and protected when I am around her like that. When we come home sometimes she drops me on her nice soft bed as she unpacks what’s inside me, but sometimes she just drops me on the cold hard floor and leaves me there until she goes out again. I get very sad and lonely there sometimes.

I do worry a lot. I am not how I used to be. My top zip is starting to fail, it’s because she’s overfilled me too many times. Also a patch of my black skin has come off at the back and at the top where there is also a lot of wear and tear. I fear that one day she will wander off and go on some adventure without me, or that maybe she will replace me with a new bag and I will go and live out the rest of my life in a dark drawer or somewhere far worse *shudder*. I don’t know what happened to the bag I replaced and she never talks about it.

She can be a bit cold and heartless sometimes…

Joanne Fisher

This was inspired by a post I saw about another bloggers handbag. I saw the title and thought cool they’ve written a story from the perspective of their handbag, but it turned out to be a blog about how they had made their own handbag and showed the patterns they had used. I’m never one to waste an idea, be it good or bad, so I thought I would tackle it. I have to admit after writing this I’m feeling rather guilty 😦

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