Dumb Vampires 6 (fiction)

Artwork by Diantha Louwes

Dumb Vampires




The days went by and more bodies began to fill the basement. With three of them now, they found it was better to invite two people over every night to feed on. Listening to both Sarah and Britney talk incessantly to each other every night, Freya was surprised that they had both attended a year of college. What sort of college was it? Freya wondered. Did their parent’s money help get them a place? Or was humanity just getting stupider?

One late afternoon there was a knock on the door. Sarah and Britney both went down to investigate. At the door was a policeman. Intrigued, Sarah opened it.

“Yes officer?” she asked.

“I’m looking for a Sarah Williams? Does she live here?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s me.” Sarah confirmed.

“A number of people have disappeared that seem to have a connection to you Miss Williams, such as a Matt Anderson, David Wilson, Zoe Taylor, Britney Evans…

“Hey that’s me!” Britney cut in. “I’m Britney Evans.”

“Oh. You should contact your parents, as they have not seen you or heard from you for some time.” the policeman told her.

“Okay I will. I’ve just been hanging out with my bestie! We’re so close she even turned me!” Britney replied as she put her arm around Sarah.

“Um, that’s nice.” the policeman replied looking uncomfortable. At that point, Freya came down the stairs and slowly walked to the door.

“So what’s happening?” she asked.

“This policeman is looking for some missing people.” Sarah informed her.

“I see. I’ll take care of this.” Freya ordered. The other two stepped back as she went up to the policeman.

“So who are you? Are you on my list as well?” the policeman asked.

“My name is not important. You will walk away from here and forget you ever came to this house. The list of missing people is no longer important to you.” Freya said to him as she stared at him intensely. The policeman suddenly looked at them bewildered and then walked off.

“Why did you let him go? We could have eaten him?” Sarah asked. Freya didn’t answer her, and instead walked quickly up the stairs. Sarah and Britney followed. Freya went into her bedroom and started packing her bag.

“What are you doing?” Sarah asked.

“I’m leaving.” Freya replied.


“Because eventually more police will come. All I did was a delaying tactic. Eventually they’ll come with a warrant and find all the bodies in the basement, and I really want to be far away when that happens.”

“So you’re just leaving us?” Britney asked.

“Yes.” Freya replied curtly.

“Don’t you have some sort of responsibility to us?”


“So what do we do?” Sarah asked her. Freya looked at her and shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t care.”

“But we could go somewhere else! We could stay at a friend’s place. There’s still plenty of people we know that we can feed on.” Sarah told her. Freya stopped and thought about it.

“Okay, maybe we could hang out somewhere else briefly, before I go.” Freya replied.

“Why do you want to go all of a sudden anyway?”

“Because once they find the bodies, that’s when the hunters come.” Freya told her.


“Yes hunters. They are skilled at killing us, and I would rather not encounter them. Anyway, do you have somewhere in mind we could go?”

“We could stay with Fat Emma.” Britney suggested. The mention of that name got both Britney and Sara giggling.

“Yeah, she would love the company!” Sara replied. The two of them continued giggling.

“And who is Fat Emma?” Freya asked them.

“Just some loser girl who always wants to hang out with us.” Sarah informed her.

“Yeah she has like a job and her own apartment!” Britney said.

“And body fat!” Sarah added. The two of them started giggling again.

“Her own apartment? That sounds promising. Okay shall we go and stay at her place?”

“Three people at her door? It will be like her dreams have come true.” Britney said. Her and Sarah started giggling yet again.

“Okay pack your things. Let’s go there before more police turn up.” Freya suggested.

A short time later they were at the door of Emma’s apartment. Sarah knocked and a woman with long dark hair answered. The woman looked surprised.

“Sarah? I haven’t seen you for ages. What are you doing here?”

“We just thought we would come over and say hi. You know Britney of course, and this is Freya.”

“Hi Freya.” To Freya’s eyes, Emma wasn’t overweight at all, it just looked like she ate food more regularly than Sarah and Britney had.

“Hi Emma. Could you invite us in?” Freya asked her.

“Sure, come in.” Emma replied, seeming surprised they wanted to visit her.

“Thanks.” Freya replied. The three of them walked into Emma’s apartment.

“Are you guys hungry?” Emma asked.

“We sure are.” Sarah replied licking her lips.

“Okay, follow me!” Emma said.

“Don’t worry we will.” Freya replied with an evil smile on her face.


to be continued…


Joanne Fisher


I do feel like I’m being horribly cruel writing this sometimes…


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5 thoughts on “Dumb Vampires 6 (fiction)

  1. LOL, some stereotypes exist for a reason. I think we’ve all known mean girls like our two airhead vampires also. I’m surprised Freya doesn’t stake them to throw off hunters and make them think the problem was already dealt with.

    Liked by 1 person

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