The Ideal Applicant? (flash fiction)

May 5, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 5 Comments

The Ideal Applicant?

“So, have you worked in a lighthouse before?”

“No, but I do believe I will be quite suitable for this position.”

“Okay. You’ll have to be up awake during the night and sleep when it’s day. Will that be a problem?”

“Not at all. I’ve been doing that for years.”

“Really?”

“Er, yes. I’m a night owl.”

“I see. How good are you at seeing in the dark? Sometimes you may have to look out across the sea.”

“I can see in the dark as though it was daylight.”

“Wow! Can you handle isolation?”

“Oh yes!”

“Do you think you could do this job for long?”

“I’m certain I could do this job for many years. Many years.”

“Will getting the right foods be a problem?”

“Is there a township nearby?”

“Yes there’s one only a few miles away.”

“Excellent!”

“Well it sounds like you’re our best candidate.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 148

This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #234.

I often find when I’m trying to be a bit more subtle, some people usually don’t get it. Try reading between the lines people.

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©️2023 Joanne Fisher

You’ve Got Mail (micro fiction)

March 30, 2023March 31, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 2 Comments

You’ve Got Mail

“Yay I got some mail from my friend Michelle!”

“You mean she sent you an actual letter?”

“Yup. We send each other letters. We’re penpals.”

“Why don’t you just send each other emails?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 37 + prompt

This was written with the prompt mail provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #304.

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The Final Frontier (micro fiction)

March 25, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 8 Comments

The Final Frontier

“So why is this spaceship called The Enterprise?”

“Because it’s named after one on a TV show.”

“So it’s not named after an early space shuttle?”

“No I believe that was also named after the TV show one.”

“Oh.”

“You know: To Go Where No Man Has Gone Before!”

“Except we are going to where no man has gone before, and will never go, as this ship is crewed entirely by women.”

“True.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 73

I wrote this rather grudgingly. I’ve always been a fan of Star Wars, rather than Star Trek, though as friends and former flatmates were fans of Star Trek I have ended up seeing quite a lot of it: the original series, the Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, most of the movies etc… Star Trek just never caught my imagination the way Star Wars did. I watch Star Trek and think “Meh…” I’ve never had any desire to rewatch any of it. Give me Star Wars any day, though I also really like Battlestar Galactica (preferably the reboot, though the original series is still fun to watch).

This was written with the prompt enterprise provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #303.

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©️2023 Joanne Fisher

On the Shelf (flash fiction)

March 22, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 3 Comments

On the Shelf

“New to the shelf are ya?”

“Yup. So what happens now?”

“We wait here, until we are chosen.”

“Chosen?”

“Yes. Something comes and takes us from the shelf.”

“All of us?”

“Eventually we all get chosen.”

“What happens once we’re chosen?”

“No idea, but I have heard rumours.”

“Rumours? What do the rumours say?”

“That when we are chosen, we are taken away to some far place. There we are ripped open and our insides are scooped out.”

“Our insides? To do what with exactly?”

“I heard they scoop them out and eat them. Then our skins are discarded and thrown into the trash.”

“That sounds rather far-fetched to me, and needlessly horrific. There’s no reason to suppose anything bad is going to happen to us.”

“I know. I guess we will find out what happens when we are chosen.”

Joanne Fisher

Just a normal story of talking bags of potato chips… I was hoping to find an image from a New Zealand supermarket, but all the images I found seemed mostly from the United States.

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©️2023 Joanne Fisher

The Job Interview (flash fiction)

March 4, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 6 Comments

The Job Interview

“And what else makes you ideal for this position?”

“Well, I won the Golden Onion Award.”

“Golden Onion Award?”

“Yes, it’s an award for the most daring use of onions in contemporary cuisine.”

“Is that really a thing?”

“Of course! The award is given out by the Golden Onion Institute.”

“I’ve never heard of it.”

“Oh I thought everyone knew about it who works in this business.”

“I guess I’ll have to look that one up. Is there anything else you think we should know?”

“I like to cook in the nude, is that going to be a problem?”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 99

This was written with the prompt golden onion provided by the Carrot Ranch February 27 Story Challenge.

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©️2023 Joanne Fisher

Clueless (flash fiction)

February 22, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 5 Comments

Clueless

*Has been magically transported back to the early 1980s, but is so focused on their phone they haven’t noticed.*

“Excuse me, my phone doesn’t seem to be working. Is there anywhere nearby with better coverage?”

“Er… your phone doesn’t work? Have you tried contacting the phone company?”

“No since I can’t operate my phone, I can’t contact them. Can I please use yours?”

“My phone?”

“Yes.”

“It’s at home.”

“Yeah I hate it when I accidentally leave my phone at home too.”

“Excuse me?”

“I thought I had lost it, but found it was in my back pocket.”

“Your back pocket? What did you find in your back pocket?”

“My phone.”

“How do you fit your phone in your back pocket?”

“Easily. Is your phone too large to fit in your pocket?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Do you still use some sort of brick?”

“A brick? What would I do with a brick?”

“I dunno, phone people with it?”

“Phone people with a brick?”

“Well what else are you going to do with it? Other than surf the web of course, if you can.”

“Surf the web? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Yeah I spend too much time online too.”

“Look, just wait here and I’ll get someone who can help you, because I really think you need help.”

“Hey thanks!”

Joanne Fisher

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©️2023 Joanne Fisher

Apathy (micro fiction)

January 30, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 3 Comments

Apathy

“Coming to the demonstration?”

“No.”

“Fine, be apathetic.”

“I’m not. I just don’t care.”

“There’s a difference?”

“If it was apathy, I wouldn’t want to know about it, but I do. I simply don’t care.”

“Not a distinction I agree with.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 40 + prompt

This was written with the prompt apathy provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #296.

Been feeling a bit bored lately. I was planning to have a break for a couple of weeks over January but it never happened. After five years of blogging I feel like I need to take a break or maybe try something new… Maybe this feeling will pass.

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The Neighbours (flash fiction)

December 15, 2022 ~ joanne the geek ~ 3 Comments

The Neighbours

“And so your neighbour came to your door and asked for a knife?”

“Well yes, she asked for a sharp knife.”

“Did she tell you why she wanted the knife?”

“She said she wanted to kill her husband.”

“And so you gave her the knife?”

“Well yes. I told her I had recently sharpened it and it would do the job well.”

“And then she went back to her home and stabbed her husband over fifty times with the knife you supplied her. Do you have anything to add?”

“Well I thought she was joking. I just thought she needed a good knife to chop up vegetables or something. If I had known she was actually going to kill her husband with it, then I wouldn’t have given it to her.”

“I see. From our perspective it looks like you were an accomplice to the murder, or at least an accessory to it.”

“I hardly know her.”

“Even though she lives next door to you?”

“I don’t really pay attention to my neighbours. I know they argued sometimes and I would say hello to her when I saw her, but that was it.”

“What was her demeanor when she asked you for the knife?”

“She seemed calm to me. When I told her the knife would do the job well, we both laughed. I really thought she was trying to be funny.”

“I see. Well you may say you are innocent, but the fact is you supplied her with the murder weapon with full knowledge of what she was planning to do. We are going to be charging you.”

“This is exactly the reason why I try to have nothing to do with my neighbours.”

Joanne Fisher

I know I seem to be writing a lot of dark stuff at the moment, but I am okay. I think my subconscious must be working through a few things as all the story ideas currently in my head are sort of like this…