Stories and thoughts about being a queer girl geek in the 21st Century.
Covering Up I like to get out my ink cover up my skin that's pink some may find it odd I'm inking up my bod Joanne Fisher Word count: 22 + prompt
This was written with the prompt ink provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #215.This is my second one.
See I’m a perfectly normal rational person…
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©️2021 Joanne Fisher
I.
I thought this world crisis was a bit of a caper
and soon the long lines for goods would taper
but when I still go the store
there’s always so many more
all I’ve got left to eat is my stack of loo paper
II.
Due to the virus Bill hoarded beans
as stacks of them were within his means
but after eating so many cans
his butt alone could power vans
and he had to frequently wash his jeans
Joanne Fisher
These “gems” were written for Chelsea Owens’s Terrible Poetry Competition. This weeks prompt was writing a limerick about stockpiling against a worldwide disaster.
Seriously I hope everyone is doing okay at the moment. I’ve not really mentioned the current state of affairs as I feel I’m being bombarded with more than enough information about the Coronavirus and its spread. My country is forcing visitors to two weeks of isolation. So far we’ve only had eight cases and no deaths thankfully. Think of my blog as a place to go for an interesting diversion from all the current issues besetting our world right now…
©2020 Joanne Fisher
I want you to really know right now
This day I’m going to make you go wow
Surprise! It is our anniversary today
We’ve been together for one whole day!
I treasure every moment I’m with you
And I really hope you feel the same way too
I just love following you around
Even when you seem to go to ground
I just can’t wait when we dine tonight
With your skin looking lovely and white
I love it so much I’d wear it myself
Or possibly leave it dangling from a shelf
Anyways, this night I have a big surprise in store
It will probably make you drop your jaw!
I’m going to ask you to marry me
Because I think we are truly meant to be
So please say yes because I don’t know what I’d do
Without you, say no you’ll really end up in the poo
Joanne Fisher
This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Terrible Poetry Competition #60. This weeks theme was Anniversary. No further comment to make….
©2020 Joanne Fisher
Girl let me be your sponge mop
just squeeze me and I’m ready to pop
full of moist love for you
I know you feel the same way too
Let me be your sponge mop
I’ll absorb your tears once they drop
I know you often have to cry
when you’re finished, just squeeze me dry
So let me be your sponge mop
and after we’re done, I’ll still be your sop
but just don’t leave me to dry in your bucket too long
just wet me sometimes, and I’ll spring back to life on song
Joanne Fisher
Firstly, I would like to apologise to the Universe and everyone living in it for this poem. I’m sorry.
This was written with the prompt love provided by Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #57. So Chelsea shares some of the blame for this.
©2020 Joanne Fisher
It’s the bleak midwinter
cold winds are blowing
snow is falling, everyone
is miserable and frozen –
but not me
here in the southern hemisphere
it’s summer and I’m in short shorts
and a close fitting tank top
sitting out in the hot sun
getting tanned
and I think of you all up there
in the frozen north
cold and miserable
and I smile at the thought of you –
because I am an arsehole.
Joanne Fisher
This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #54. This weeks theme was The Bleak Midwinter.
In other news: I haven’t been online much lately. The WiFi where I live has been turned off as everyone is moving out (including myself once I find somewhere), and I’m relying on some free data my phone company has provided which will run out in a few days…. I’m praying that some kind-hearted soul might top my phone up before then, but my hopes aren’t high…
©2020 Joanne Fisher
There once was a hungry vampire
of fresh blood he could never tire
one night from his dark castle he flew
looking for a fair maiden that was new
until through a bedroom window he did see
a slumbering maiden who looked a beauty
so he crept into the room to have a bite
lucky for him she obviously had an early night
she was motionless and lying fast asleep
so right up to her he did silently creep
his fangs chomped down on her exposed neck
only to find the skin was hard, and his teeth now a wreck!
She was only a mannequin left lying in the room
he quickly left, flying in shock back to his tomb.
That experience left him feeling so pitiful
without his fangs, he now gets blood bags from the hospital.
Joanne Fisher
This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. This week the theme was Halloween, so I wrote one about a vampire…
©2019 Joanne Fisher
Pumpkin Spice is nice
I’m told by people who drink
overpriced coffees
I’ve never tried it and won’t
I’m too judgmental of them
Joanne Fisher
This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Terrible Poetry Competition. This week it was to write a tanka (each line has syllables 5/7/5/7/7) about Pumpkin Spice.
Here’s an article about tanka.
Go on go on go on:
©2019 Joanne Fisher
I use my towel for everything –
I dry myself with it, or wipe dirt off
sometimes I wear it as a short dress,
an improvised hat, or use it as a blanket
I even like to take it to sports events and
twirl it above my head in excitement
people say my towel is dirty, that it smells
but you don’t wash towels
do you?
when it gets damp I dry it outside
and then I wrap it around my head
Actually, they’re right
it does stink.
Joanne Fisher
This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Competition #42.
©2019 Joanne Fisher
It’s like I’ve been here before
all the beaches I’m at, all seem the same
they all have sand and rocks and water
and bathers slowly roasting themselves in the sun
and then there are the hotels –
all offering services and rooms that all
look the same no matter where you go
and all the people are the same too
I’m not actually saying they are literally all the same people
but that they are all the same types of people, that’s
what I’m getting at
I don’t mean to sound neurotic
but sometimes I wonder if I’m in a simulation
Joanne Fisher
This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Terrible Poetry Competition #39. The topic was vacations and as if you were writing a postcard to someone you know about the vacation you’re having.
I sometimes feel I’m unlearning years of craft in order to write these *sigh*
©2019 Joanne Fisher
When I yet again start running out of money
To the blood bank I go to sell off my red honey
It’s a rare type so they’re always in need of some
If only I could produce more I wouldn’t have to be a bum
I even offered to sell my mucus dripping out of my nose
Or the copious earwax or what I find between my toes
Or any other of my bodily secretions I would quite happily sell
But they weren’t so interested in those as far as I could tell
Joanne Fisher
This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Competition #33. This week was the theme of unusual ways to make money.
joanne the geek 