Covering Up (poem)

Covering Up

I like to get out my ink
cover up my skin that's pink
some may find it odd
I'm inking up my bod

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 22 + prompt

This was written with the prompt ink provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #215.This is my second one.

See I’m a perfectly normal rational person…

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©️2021 Joanne Fisher


Hoarding (Terrible Poetry Contest)






I thought this world crisis was a bit of a caper

and soon the long lines for goods would taper

but when I still go the store

there’s always so many more

all I’ve got left to eat is my stack of loo paper




Due to the virus Bill hoarded beans

as stacks of them were within his means

but after eating so many cans

his butt alone could power vans

and he had to frequently wash his jeans



Joanne Fisher


These “gems” were written for Chelsea Owens’s Terrible Poetry Competition. This weeks prompt was writing a limerick about stockpiling against a worldwide disaster.


Seriously I hope everyone is doing okay at the moment. I’ve not really mentioned the current state of affairs as I feel I’m being bombarded with more than enough information about the Coronavirus and its spread. My country is forcing visitors to two weeks of isolation. So far we’ve only had eight cases and no deaths thankfully. Think of my blog as a place to go for an interesting diversion from all the current issues besetting our world right now…



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©2020 Joanne Fisher



Anniversary (Terrible Poetry Competition)






I want you to really know right now

This day I’m going to make you go wow

Surprise! It is our anniversary today

We’ve been together for one whole day!


I treasure every moment I’m with you

And I really hope you feel the same way too

I just love following you around

Even when you seem to go to ground


I just can’t wait when we dine tonight

With your skin looking lovely and white

I love it so much I’d wear it myself

Or possibly leave it dangling from a shelf


Anyways, this night I have a big surprise in store

It will probably make you drop your jaw!

I’m going to ask you to marry me

Because I think we are truly meant to be


So please say yes because I don’t know what I’d do

Without you, say no you’ll really end up in the poo



Joanne Fisher



This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Terrible Poetry Competition #60. This weeks theme was Anniversary. No further comment to make….



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©2020 Joanne Fisher

Let Me Be Your Sponge Mop (Terrible Poetry Competition)



Let Me Be Your Sponge Mop



Girl let me be your sponge mop

just squeeze me and I’m ready to pop

full of moist love for you

I know you feel the same way too


Let me be your sponge mop

I’ll absorb your tears once they drop

I know you often have to cry

when you’re finished, just squeeze me dry


So let me be your sponge mop

and after we’re done, I’ll still be your sop

but just don’t leave me to dry in your bucket too long

just wet me sometimes, and I’ll spring back to life on song



Joanne Fisher


Firstly, I would like to apologise to the Universe and everyone living in it for this poem. I’m sorry.


This was written with the prompt love provided by Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #57. So Chelsea shares some of the blame for this.



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©2020 Joanne Fisher



In the Bleak Midwinter (Terrible Poetry Competition)


In the Bleak Midwinter



It’s the bleak midwinter

cold winds are blowing

snow is falling, everyone

is miserable and frozen –

but not me


here in the southern hemisphere

it’s summer and I’m in short shorts

and a close fitting tank top

sitting out in the hot sun

getting tanned


and I think of you all up there

in the frozen north

cold and miserable

and I smile at the thought of you –

because I am an arsehole.



Joanne Fisher


This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #54. This weeks theme was The Bleak Midwinter.


In other news: I haven’t been online much lately. The WiFi where I live has been turned off as everyone is moving out (including myself once I find somewhere), and I’m relying on some free data my phone company has provided which will run out in a few days…. I’m praying that some kind-hearted soul might top my phone up before then, but my hopes aren’t high…



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©2020 Joanne Fisher



The Vampire’s Night Out – Terrible Poetry Competition


The Vampire’s Night Out


There once was a hungry vampire

of fresh blood he could never tire

one night from his dark castle he flew

looking for a fair maiden that was new


until through a bedroom window he did see

a slumbering maiden who looked a beauty

so he crept into the room to have a bite

lucky for him she obviously had an early night


she was motionless and lying fast asleep

so right up to her he did silently creep

his fangs chomped down on her exposed neck

only to find the skin was hard, and his teeth now a wreck!


She was only a mannequin left lying in the room

he quickly left, flying in shock back to his tomb.

That experience left him feeling so pitiful

without his fangs, he now gets blood bags from the hospital.



Joanne Fisher



This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. This week the theme was Halloween, so I wrote one about a vampire…



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©2019 Joanne Fisher


Tanka About Pumpkin Spice (Terrible Poetry Competition)



Tanka about Pumpkin Spice


Pumpkin Spice is nice

I’m told by people who drink

overpriced coffees

I’ve never tried it and won’t

I’m too judgmental of them


Joanne Fisher


This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Terrible Poetry Competition. This week it was to write a tanka (each line has syllables 5/7/5/7/7) about Pumpkin Spice.


Here’s an article about tanka.


Go on go on go on:

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©2019 Joanne Fisher

You’ve Really Got To Know Where Your Towel Is – Terrible Poetry Competition


You’ve Really Got To Know Where Your Towel Is



I use my towel for everything –

I dry myself with it, or wipe dirt off

sometimes I wear it as a short dress,

an improvised hat, or use it as a blanket

I even like to take it to sports events and

twirl it above my head in excitement

people say my towel is dirty, that it smells

but you don’t wash towels

do you?

when it gets damp I dry it outside

and then I wrap it around my head

Actually, they’re right

it does stink.


Joanne Fisher


This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Competition #42.



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©2019 Joanne Fisher





Deja Vu – Terrible Poetry Competition

Beach Physical Simulation by Sally Im

Déjà Vu


It’s like I’ve been here before

all the beaches I’m at, all seem the same

they all have sand and rocks and water

and bathers slowly roasting themselves in the sun

and then there are the hotels –

all offering services and rooms that all

look the same no matter where you go

and all the people are the same too

I’m not actually saying they are literally all the same people

but that they are all the same types of people, that’s

what I’m getting at

I don’t mean to sound neurotic

but sometimes I wonder if I’m in a simulation


Joanne Fisher


This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Terrible Poetry Competition #39. The topic was vacations and as if you were writing a postcard to someone you know about the vacation you’re having.


I sometimes feel I’m unlearning years of craft in order to write these *sigh*


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©2019 Joanne Fisher

Blood Money – Terrible Poetry Competition


Blood Money



When I yet again start running out of money

To the blood bank I go to sell off my red honey

It’s a rare type so they’re always in need of some

If only I could produce more I wouldn’t have to be a bum


I even offered to sell my mucus dripping out of my nose

Or the copious earwax or what I find between my toes

Or any other of my bodily secretions I would quite happily sell

But they weren’t so interested in those as far as I could tell


Joanne Fisher


This was written for Chelsea Owens’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Competition #33. This week was  the theme of unusual ways to make money.


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