Crossing Over (Day 13, 13 Days of Samhain)

November 2, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 9 Comments

Crossing Over

“Where am I?” I asked.

“You’ve crossed over from the world of the living to the land of the dead.” A figure beside me said.

“I’m dead?”

“Yes.” They replied.

“How did I die?”

“You were hit by a truck.”

“I don’t even remember that.” I said.

“Well it was instantaneous. You didn’t even see it coming, as you had headphones on and were looking the other way. You were pulverised into a bloody mess.” They told me.

“Really?”

“Oh yes, they virtually had to use a spatula to scrape you off the road.”

“I think that’s enough information. I get the picture.” I said.

“Ok. Follow me.” The figure said. We walked down a long corridor and came to a door. It opened before me. It was room full tables and chairs and people sipping different coloured drinks.

“I was expecting many things.” I said. “But not a cocktail lounge.”

“You’d be surprised by how many people say that.” The figure said.

“No, I don’t think I would be.” I replied. “So what now?”

“This is a sort of waiting place before you move on. Go and order a drink.” The figure suggested.

“Sounds like a plan.” I said. I walked up to the bar.

“What can I get you?” asked a cute blonde. Now this was a heaven I could enjoy, I thought. She smiled at me as though she could read my mind.

“How about you? I must be in heaven, because I’m looking at an angel.” I said laying on my charm.

“I meant a drink.” She said.

“I’ll have a screaming orgasm then.” I replied.

“Certainly miss.” She said, as she instantly handed me a glass. “I knew you were going to say that.”

“So what do we do now?” I asked her.

“You are going to sit down and enjoy your drink.”

“Okay.”

“And see those stairs?” She said pointing to them. “If you go up them you’ll find a number of doors leading to different places. It’s for you to choose which doorway you go through.”

“How do I know where the doors lead to?” I asked.

“You won’t know until you open them, but take your time, and enjoy your drink.” She said with a half-smile. “You’ll work it out.”

I sat down. So here I was for now, sipping cocktails in the afterlife…

Joanne Fisher

This is based on a dream I had. In the dream I was in the afterlife in a posh-looking bar (I thought a cocktail lounge was funnier), there were doors leading to other places, and there was a blonde woman serving drinks, though I don’t think I used any cringeworthy chatup lines on her, or at least I don’t think I did… 🤔

Thanks to Sammi Cox for all the prompts. It’s been fun!

This was written with the prompt Crossing Over provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂

The Magic Society (Day 12, 13 Days of Samhain)

November 1, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 2 Comments

The Magic Society

I had finally joined the Magic Society. As a budding spellcaster I was looking forward to meeting others and learning from more skilled practitioners of the craft. My first meeting was tonight and I could hardly contain my excitement.

In the early evening I came to the building and saw a man at the door.

“You need to say the magic word before I can let you in.” He said. I was expecting something like this, and I had come prepared.

“Abracadabra.” I said. He laughed and said no. Yes, too obvious I thought.

“Alakazam?”

“Nope.”

Hocus pocus?”

“No.”

“Voila?”

“Definitely not.”

“Open sesame?”

“Nope.”

“Sim sala bim?”

“Afraid not.”

“Mojo?”

“No.”

“Calamaris?”

“Nope.”

“Miertr?”

“No.”

“Micrato, raepy sathonich?”

“What?”

“Daimon?”

“No.”

“Those are all magic words I’ve given you.” I said.

“Yes they are.” He agreed. “But they are not the word I want.” I searched my brain for another.

“Uh, please?” I said as a desperate last attempt. The man smiled and opened the door.

“In you go miss.” He said. Relieved, I walked into the building. I should have realised it was something so simple.

I walked down a corridor and opened the door at the end. There I was confronted with people sitting at tables with decks of cards playing games with each other. I then realised this was not the Magic Society I was looking for.

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt magic words provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂

The Satanic Mechanic (Day 11, 13 Days of Samhain)

October 31, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ Leave a comment

The Satanic Mechanic

“Blast we have a flat tire.” Chad said. They both got out to inspect it. The tire was definitely flat.

“Well at least we’re at the crossroads. We’re bound to see someone else that might stop and help us.” Jeanette said.

“Right now I’d sell my soul for a new tire.” Chad told her.

There was a flash of light. A red truck with the words “The Satanic Mechanic” on the side appeared. It stopped on the other side of the road from them. Out got a tall thin man with a goatee. There seemed to be two prominent bulges under his cap. He walked over to them.

“Need a new tire I see.” The mechanic said.

“I don’t have any cash with me.” Chad said.

“Don’t worry, all it will cost is your soul. I’ll even change the tire for you.” The mechanic offered.

“Okay, fine.” There was another flash and the mechanic produced a contract.

“Just sign here and all will be well.” The mechanic said as he laid the contract on the roof of the car. Chad started to sign it. The pen had a strange red ink.

“Darling, do you think this is a good idea?” Jeanette said.

“It’s probably just some promotional gimmick.” Chad said as he handed the signed contract back to the mechanic.

“Thank you.” The mechanic said taking the contract back with a smile. The new tire was put on in an instant. The mechanic went back to his truck and drove off. A second later it was gone. The couple got back in their car and drove off.

“That was lucky they came along.” Jeanette said.

“Yes.” Chad replied. He couldn’t help feeling that he had lost something.

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt At the Crossroads provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂

Two Vampires (Day 10, 13 Days of Samhain)

October 30, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 3 Comments

Two Vampires

“I really wonder about humans today.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well when we used to show them our fangs, they’d scream and we would chase after them and then we’d feed on them. These days they just stand there and go “bite me”. It’s really weird.”

“It’s all those films and books that romanticise us. In reality we’re undead corpses that survive on human blood. Not sure why some humans find that so sexy.”

“I really miss the hunt. Helped you work up an appetite. When humans just stand there and take it, it’s just not the same. It’s sorta creepy, if you ask me.”

“At least we’re well fed.”

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt Bite Me provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂

Dem Bones (Day 9, 13 Days of Samhain)

October 29, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 1 Comment

Dem Bones

Lexie carefully brushed away the dirt from the skull. She marveled at it.

“Wow. Someone who lived in a civilisation that vanished over five thousand years ago. If only these bones could talk.” She said to herself.

“But we can talk!” Said a voice.

“What?” Lexie said in surprise.

“You are a stupidy-head Lexie!” Said the voice. There was sudden laughing behind her.

“If only you could see your face right now!” Said Trudy still laughing. “You really thought the skull was talking to you!”

“Very funny.” Lexie replied. “Surely you’ve got something better to do?”

“I learnt how to do ventriloquism when I was a kid. You wouldn’t believe how useful it’s been.” Trudy said as she walked away.

“YOU HAVE DOOMED YOUR SPECIES FOR UNCOVERING ME MORTAL.” Said a voice. Lexie stood up and went to the doorway.

“Okay Trudy, you got me. You don’t need to keep doing it.” She called out. Trudy appeared looking confused.

“What are you talking about?” Trudy asked.

“You did the ventriloquism again.”

“No I didn’t.” Trudy replied.

“FEAR US MORTALS. WE WILL DESTROY YOU ALL.” Said the voice again.

“It’s really impressive you can do it with your mouth open, but quit it.” Lexie said. Trudy had gone pale.

“I didn’t do that.” Trudy said.

“Yeah right.” Lexie replied as she blocked up the entrance to the chamber.

“Lexie that isn’t me!” Trudy said through the doorway. “You’ve got to get out of there!”

“Surely you’ve got a excavation you should be working on.” Lexie called out. She kneeled down and resumed work on the skull.

“THE PENALTY FOR DISTURBING OUR PLACE OF REST IS DEATH.”

“Just shut it okay!” Lexie called out again.

“RUDE MORTAL. YOU WILL BE THE FIRST I’LL DESTROY.”

“Whatever.” Lexie replied.

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt If These Bones Could Talk provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂

New Shoes (Day 8, 13 Days of Samhain)

October 28, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 1 Comment

New Shoes

“Do you like my new shoes? They fit really well.” Richard asked holding up a pair of black leather shoes. Natasha looked at them.

“They’re nice. Where did you get them?” She asked.

“From work.”

“You got them from work? You mean…?”

“Well yes. That’s the perks of being a gravedigger.” Richard said.

“Eww. You’re going to wear dead man’s shoes? Surely that must be illegal, or at least, an extremely bad idea.”

“It’s not like anyone’s going to find out.” Richard stated.

Just after he said that there were three loud knocks on the front door. Mystified, Natasha opened the door and then let out a shriek. At the door was a dead man dressed in a suit, though without shoes. He walked into the house, grabbed the shoes Richard was holding, and then walked out again. Richard stood there aghast.

“I told you it was a bad idea.” Natasha said.

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt Dead Man’s Shoes provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂

Monster Killers (Day 7, 13 Days of Samhain)

October 27, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 3 Comments

Monster Killers

“Well that monster was hard to kill.” Pete said. We all looked down at the severed limbs. We had chopped it up into eleven separate pieces.

“It took so many of us.” Anna said.

“May it rest in pieces.” I said. Everyone looked at me questioningly.

“Now’s not the time for your jokes Jen.” Pete stated. “To stop this monster from ever coming back, I suggest we all take a piece and bury it somewhere. That way no one will ever be able to put it back together, even by accident.”

“Yeah who would have thought there was a vicious monster that could reattach it’s severed limbs?” Dave added.

“Can we just get on and bury it then? I’m terrified about this thing ever coming back.” Sharon suggested.

“Yes, lets get on with it.” Pete ordered. He took two pieces to bury, while the rest of us took one. I drove off and quickly buried my piece, the left calf and foot, some place distant from my home. Then I sat back in the sun and had a few drinks.

“Hello?” I said answering the phone. It was now later that evening.

“Jen?” It was Pete. There seemed to be the sound of constant banging in the background.

“Yes.” I replied. “Gosh it sounds like you’re under attack. What’s going on there?”

“Did you bury the piece you took?” He asked, ignoring my question.

“Yes as soon as I got home. Are you okay?”

“I’m barricaded in my garage. It’s only a matter of time until one of them gets through.” A sense of foreboding began to grow.

“What are you talking about? Are you drinking again?”

“It turns out chopping the monster up and burying each separate piece was the worst thing we could ever do. I can’t get in touch with any of the others.”

“What are you saying?” I asked alarmed.

“It seems a new monster has grown from each separate piece we buried. There are now eleven of them!” Then there was what sounded like an explosion.

“Pete?” I said, but there was no reply. Just then I heard the sound of breaking glass behind me.

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt Rest In Pieces provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂

Once Upon A Curse (Day 6, 13 Days of Samhain)

October 26, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 1 Comment

Once Upon A Curse

“Hey Katherine?”

“Yes Sylvia?”

“Do you know how vampirism started?” Sylvia asked. Katherine put down the book she was reading and regarded Sylvia.

“Well there is the story of the Witch’s Curse.”

“Ooh! I’ve never heard of that!” Sylvia remarked.

“Well, once upon a time there was a witch. She was the most powerful witch that ever existed. She fell in love with a mortal, not realising he had insatiable sexual desires. Every night after the witch fell asleep, he would go off to the nearby village and try to have his way with the women there. One day the witch found him in bed with another woman, so she cursed him. All his desires became fixated on human blood. From then on he could only sate his hunger on the blood of the living.” Katherine said.

“Wow! So that’s how us vampires began?” Sylvia asked amazed.

“Well no. I just made that up.” Katherine replied as she picked up her book and resumed reading.

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt Once Upon A Curse provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂

In the Dead of Night (Day 5, 13 Days of Samhain)

October 25, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 6 Comments

In the Dead of Night

In the dead of night
she wakes with a fright
some thing not in sight
shines with light quite bright

in the dead of night
where there is no light

in the dead of night
she hopes she’s not right
holds herself so tight
not up for a fight

in the dead of night
they come for a bite

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt In the Dead of Night provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂

A Reconciliation? (Day 4, 13 Days of Samhain)

October 24, 2023October 24, 2023 ~ joanne the geek ~ 2 Comments

A Reconciliation?

Simon ran into Julie at a nightclub. Though they hadn’t seen each other for a while, they instantly hit it off again. Not long after, they were back at Simon’s place and had quickly stripped off and were now in bed together.

“Can we just talk for a sec?” Julie suddenly asked. Simon groaned.

“Okay, I was sorta expecting this. What do you wanna say?” Simon asked.

“When we were together you slept with other women. I only found this out after you dumped me for a younger prettier woman.”

“What do you expect me to say? As far as I’m concerned it’s water under the bridge. I’m not going to say I’m sorry if that’s what you want. It’s just the way I am.” Simon replied.

“Okay. So what happened to the woman you dumped me for?” Julie asked.

“She ended up being too clingy. I had to let her go.”

“Have you ever heard the expression: hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?”

“Sure. Everybody has.” Simon replied as Julie began tracing her finger over his stomach and chest.

“What if I told you I’m not Julie?” Simon laughed at her words.

“What, are you crazy? Of course you’re Julie.”

“No, Julie was heartbroken and she summoned me to take care of you, once she found the right spell.”

“Oh really? You expect me to believe that?” Simon asked dismissively. Julie opened her mouth to reveal rows of sharp teeth. Before he could react, she was sitting astride him, pinning him down on the bed.

“You believe me now?” She asked in a sudden harsh deep voice. Her eyes turned black, her hands became claws.

“What are you?” Simon screamed.

“Something that takes care of people like you. I will feed on you for the rest of eternity.”

“Nooo!” The floor opened up to reveal a vortex of fire spiraling away into infinity. She dragged him down with her, his screams were unheard.

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt Hell Hath No Fury provided by Sammi Cox’s 13 Days of Samhain.

Please support this blog: http://ko-fi.com/jedigirl 🙂