Stories and thoughts about being a queer girl geek in the 21st Century.
when i cut myself
for correction
the voice
in the gloom says:
how i like you
my deep shadow
my dark half
my twisted little
blackened angel
let’s revel in this
shadow together
now i’ve found
you here
blood of my
blood
Joanne Fisher
©2020 Joanne Fisher
Tess sat on the toilet. She usually avoided loud parties, but had been dragged to this one by a close friend. It didn’t take long for her to get overwhelmed by the sheer number of people in the house, and so she ran off to the bathroom where she could be alone. She could leave, but that would involve trying to find her friend again. Tess sat there listening to the music thudding through the walls. All she wanted was to have just a few minutes of peace and quiet to gather her thoughts. Someone knocked on the door.
Joanne Fisher
This is something I’ve done at parties.
This was written with the prompt of story that glorifies a toilet provided by the Carrot Ranch November 19 Flash Fiction Challenge.
©️2020 Joanne Fisher
2
The van had stopped moving. Carly and Bob looked at each other with concern. Almost immediately there seemed to be weird sounds coming from above, like drones were flying above the van. Suddenly the doors of the van opened up. In front of both of them hovered a robot. It was circular shaped, about three feet high and five feet wide. The top of it was a dome which seemed to have sensors, while its body was covered in robotic arms that went all the way around it. It looked at them and suddenly it’s dome lit up bright red.
“BIOLOGICALS! WHAT ARE BIOLOGICALS DOING HERE?” the robot screeched. Carly slowly approached it, wondering if she was doing the right thing.
“Hey we accidentally locked ourselves in the van. We tried to get out, but couldn’t.” she explained.
“DOES NOT COMPUTE!” the robot screeched again. “BIOLOGICALS MUST LEAVE BEFORE STERILISATION PROCESS BEGINS!”
“Believe me, we don’t want to hang around for that.” Carly replied.
“So where do we go?” Bob asked.
“BIOLOGICALS MUST REPORT TO ADMINISTRATION! IT IS FORBIDDEN FOR TO BE HERE!” the robot replied.
“Okay, just show us the way and we’ll skedaddle.” Carly said.
“BIOLOGICALS MUST LEAVE VEHICLE AND FOLLOW PATH TO ADMINISTRATION!”
Both Carly and Bob quickly got out of the van. Neither of them particularly wanted to end up going through the “sterilisation process”, whatever that meant. Once they were out they saw they were in a huge factory. Hundreds of robots were flying about overhead. There were also many other conveyor belts each having a van on them also in the process of being cleaned. They found a narrow path and, assuming it was the way to administration, followed it. Eventually they came to some double doors. Since they both felt they had little to lose at this point, they just went on through them without even stopping.
They came into an office. There at a desk was an overweight middle-aged man with a thick mustache seated looking at monitors. When he looked up and saw them, he seemed taken aback.
“What are you two doing here?” he asked. “You’re not meant to be here.”
“Yes we’ve gathered that.” Carly replied.
“We got locked in the back of our van.” Bob informed him. The man laughed.
“Does that happen very often?” Carly asked.
“No. It has happened before, but not for a long time. The Boss isn’t going to like this!” He picked up the phone. “Can I speak to The Boss please? Thanks. Hello Sir. We have two cleaners here… I don’t know… They say they got locked in the back of their van somehow… What shall I do with them?… Okay!” The man looked at them and smiled. “The Boss wants to see you.”
“Really?” Bob asked.
“Yes. Just go into that small lift there.” He pointed to a lift directly on the other side of the office. “It will lead directly to his suite. Oh and take this.” The man handed Carly a disposable coffee cup. “He doesn’t like it when it gets cold.” Carly took the cup with her and followed Bob to the lift. On the side of the cup some handwriting had scrawled “Mr Big”. Carly smiled and showed it to Bob.
“Do you think he’s over-compensating?” she asked. Bob gave a half-smile. The truth was he was too worried and scared to find the humour in anything. They entered the lift and noticed there were no buttons to push. The doors closed and the lift went up for what seemed a long time. Finally the doors opened into a small room. A youngish woman sat at a desk filing her nails. She looked up at them as they walked in.
“We’re here to see The Boss.” Carly informed her.
“Just go on through. You’re expected.” the woman said. As she spoke, a door behind her slid open. Carly and Bob walked through. They were in a large spacious room. There was thick carpets, wood paneling, shelves full of books, and paintings. At the far end was a large oak desk. There sat The Boss smoking a cigar. He was covered in long dark hair.
“Bigfoot?!” Bob blurted out in surprise.
to be continued…
Joanne Fisher
©2020 Joanne Fisher
1
“He must have exploded!” Carly said wide-eyed in wonder.
“Yeah, we don’t need a mop and bucket so much a spatula.” Bob replied.
“Why build a giant microwave anyway? That’s just asking for trouble.”
“Well it is a popular fast food business. They just make everything beforehand and heat it up in the microwave in large lots when the wave of customers hits.” Bob explained. “Remind me to never eat here again.”
“So this guy must have walked in and then someone else must have closed the door and turned it on. Makes you wonder why.” Carly commented. Bob just shrugged his shoulders.
“It’s not our problem. We’re just here to clean up the body, or what’s left of it.”
“He certainly got into every crevice.” They both looked at each other and sighed.
“Well let’s get to it then!” Bob suggested.
They brought in their mops, buckets, squeegees, spray bottles, and industrial cleaners and then got to work. Within a few hours they had completely removed any trace of the poor unfortunate who had been splattered all over the insides of the giant oven. Before leaving they did a routine check they hadn’t missed anything, and carried out what remains there were in a black plastic bag. They then went down to the car park completely ignored by anyone they saw. Bob liked being a cleaner, since no one really paid much attention to you. You were both visible and invisible at the same time.
They loaded everything into the back of their white van with the words ERAZE printed on the side, removed all their protective equipment, and then drove off. Carly preferred to drive since she was relatively quick, but stealthy at the same time, which was important for people working in a business like theirs, particularly one they would rather not draw attention to. Once on the freeway they both relaxed a bit.
“Any plans after work?” Carly asked.
“No, I was just thinking of heading back to my apartment and collapsing onto my bed. It’s been a tiring day.”
“I know! Three bodies today! Who would have thunk it? People be cray cray at the moment!” Carly agreed. “I need to unwind first. I was thinking of going to the bar and shooting some pool. You’re welcome to come with.”
“You mean tag along and spend what’s left of the night watching you beat everyone? I think I’ll pass.”
“Your loss.” Carly replied shrugging her shoulders.
Carly parked the van in the Warehouse. She opened the back door and went inside to check the body remains had been correctly stored. Bob joined her, closing the door behind him.
“Why did you close the door?” Carly asked.
“Privacy.” Bob replied.
But it’s self-locking.”
“I thought you had the key.”
“No they’re still in the lock. Shit! Now we’re locked in!” Carly informed him.
“Crap!” Bob added. “How do we get out?” Carly squeezed past him and tried opening the doors, but they wouldn’t budge.
“I have no idea!” Carly replied. “What I do know is that once we leave the van, it is taken back to Headquarters and serviced.”
“Headquarters?” Bob gasped in horror and went pale. “We’re not meant to be there.”
“I know!”
“This is really bad isn’t it?’ Bob asked with a rising sense of panic. They both made for the doors and tried to force them open, but to no avail. Then suddenly they both felt they were going downwards, like they were in a lift. This sensation went on for some time. Once it stopped, they then felt the van move slowly forwards, as though they were now on a conveyor belt.
“Well, we’re definitely on the way to Headquarters. Thanks for ruining my evening bitch!” Carly remarked, feeling really pissed with Bob.
“Where abouts is it?” Bob asked.
“No idea. In fact I don’t think anyone knows, apart from the people that run this service obviously.”
“What will they do when they find us here?” Bob asked fearing the worst.
“Don’t know, but considering we work for a business that deals with erasing any evidence of dead bodies I’m not sure we’re going to walk away from this.” Carly replied. She sat down on the floor looking unhappy. “I should have been killing it on the pool table by now.”
“I’m sorry for closing the door on us. I wasn’t thinking.” Bob admitted.
“Damn right you weren’t!” Carly agreed.
All of a sudden the van came to a halt.
to be continued…
Joanne Fisher
This was originally a story I wrote for a competition, but then when I rechecked the rules I found I had got it horribly wrong, so I never submitted it. As it’s over two thousand words I thought I would post it here in three parts.
©2020 Joanne Fisher
The Baron Returns
This morning Aalen and Ashalla found the streets were packed with people. It seemed as though the entire city’s population had turned out. Soldiers marched towards the Keep.
“What’s happening?” Aalen asked.
“I think the Baron is finally returning.” Ashalla replied trying to see over the crowds.
The crowd cheered as a carriage drawn by six horses passed by. Inside was a man with dark hair and a neatly trimmed beard. He wore a red coat with gold filigree. He ignored the crowds that had come to see him return. Aalen stared at him.
“Perfect!” Aalen said. “Tonight we attack.”
Joanne Fisher
As I’m planning to shortly begin working on doing a short e-book of Aalen’s Saga, I thought would fill a few gaps in the narrative. This piece takes place between A Brief Respite and The Keep.
©️2020 Joanne Fisher
Confines
today I’m at South Brighton
walking along the foaming sand
watching the escalator
waves roll in
mechanically
I’m holding my camera tightly
as if you were contained
within its body
& you are
earlier
we were in the garden
& I was storing images
your rare smiles
frozen
for a single
microsecond
the flurry of movement
indelible
later
all I have is
a dozen blurred pictures
of your embarrassed
shy smiles
trying to escape
the lens
Joanne Fisher
This was first posted on my blog in January 2018. The poem was originally published in Glottis.
Tomorrow morning I finally move into my new flat. I’m feeling a bit nervous about it all, and I’m hoping it all goes okay. I’m also rapidly running out of funds…
©️2020 Joanne Fisher
Second Letter
you’ve been back
in this country a
year now & still I
wait to see you
all I have received
is a letter telling me
you did the St. James
again with some friends
you made overseas I
remember when we did
that same track together
tramping through matagouri
thickets & cold swollen
streams where I kept losing
my footing but you were
always there ensuring I
didn’t get swept away
tumbling down mountains
to the sea
I need that –
someone who is there
to catch me & grab hold
before I fall
Joanne Fisher
I was planning to work on the next installment of Dumb Vampires, but I’ve been sick with food poisoning, and spent the last day resting as much as I could. While it’s not the first time I’ve had food poisoning, it’s the first time I’ve done it to myself (and someone else) 🤢
On the plus side I am feeling better than I was…
©️2020 Joanne Fisher
The Chase
Martha had chased the thief down a network of side streets and now he had disappeared. Earlier she had been walking briskly away from a cafe when the thief had snatched the handbag from her shoulder and kept on running. She had instantly run after him and now she had ended up here. For all she knew he could be hiding behind any of these doors.
Martha now gingerly walked down the narrow alleyway trying to listen to any sounds around her, just in case there was some unseen nook that was giving him cover. She began to wonder why she had become so invested in this chase, after all it wasn’t even her handbag…
Joanne Fisher
Word count: 113
This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #93.
©️ 2020 Joanne Fisher
I’m gobsmacked by creation –
go outside on a clear night
constellations litter
the black sky
other suns burning
billions of miles away
other suns with planets –
the universes eternal clockwork
& maybe
there are people like us
gazing into the dark
wondering if they’re alone
we could all be
looking up into the light
years of void between us
watching each other
Joanne Fisher
This was first published in Takahe and first appeared on this blog in May 2018.
My head still feels like it’s full of cotton wool, though I am slowly getting better. The next installment of Dumb Vampires is in my head, and hopefully I’ll be able to write it down in the next day or so.
Cthulhu joined me this evening and we read all your posts together. I think he liked them 😉
Thanks to Mary Jacinto for the coffees ❤️
©2020 Joanne Fisher
is this what I meant?
to be their guiding light,
their puppet of prophecy, their
salvation
I am dying for their sins
*
sometimes I wanted
to keep my mouth shut
& stroll off by myself
but when I did that
they all went & followed me
anyway
*
my body burns to a purifying heat
everything – the crowds, the
soldiers, the walled city below
become distant & insubstantial
the air ripples around me
the view from up here is
extraordinary
the future
a shimmering mass
incandescent with
possibilities to
the end of time’s
horizon –
weaving twisting
turning
trailing away
like a restless
serpent
*
blood is flowing freely
from my hands & feet
I can tell you
I am in considerable
pain up here
(I think I’m going
to pass out
any second
Joanne Fisher
A few years ago I watched an interview with Norman Mailer about a book he had written. I can’t say I’ve ever read any of his works, but the interview intrigued me. He was talking about how Christianity regarded Jesus as the Son of God, who also happened to be a man, but his book was about Jesus the man, who also happened to be the Son of God. I thought this an interesting shift of perspective and a short time later I wrote this poem utilising this idea, with a touch of Monty Python’s Life of Brian thrown in…
I’d like to say here I’m not trying to make fun of people’s beliefs, I’m just exploring an idea, as I do…
This poem was originally published in JAAM, and first appeared on this blog in April 2018.
©2020 Joanne Fisher
