The Bargain (flash fiction)

The Bargain

“And do you have a wish?”

“I deeply wish the killer comes to know what he took away from me. The love I shared with her. I want him to know the wonderful person she was and the light she brought into other people’s lives. I want him to know that; to finally understand what he took away from us all as he rots away in the darkness of a cell. That’s what I want.”

“I understand. Consider it done, though you have paid a great price.” the voice said. I stared at the pale reflection in the mirror.

Joanne Fisher

This was written with the prompt deep wishes provided by the Carrot Ranch March 11 Flash Fiction Challenge.

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©️2021 Joanne Fisher

She Said (poem)

She Said...


She said I don't care about most people
         but I like you

she said I want to be with you
         forever

she said I love you


*


she said I don't want to come around 
         anymore

she said I thought I loved you once
         but now I'm not so sure

she said I'm sick of you


and I was pushed under
    the dark waves


Joanne Fisher



This was previously published on my blog in June 2018.

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©️2021 Joanne Fisher

Daddy by Sylvia Plath (poetry)

"Daddy" by Sylvia Plath

You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot
For thirty years, poor and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to kill you.
You died before I had time--
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,
Ghastly statue with one gray toe
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic
Where it pours bean green over blue
In the waters off beautiful Nauset.
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town
Scraped flat by the roller
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.
My Polack friend

Says there are a dozen or two.
So I never could tell where you
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.
The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.
Ich, ich, ich, ich,
I could hardly speak.
I thought every German was you.
And the language obscene

An engine, an engine
Chuffing me off like a Jew.
A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.
I began to talk like a Jew.
I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna
Are not very pure or true.
With my gipsy ancestress and my weird luck
And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack
I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You--
 
Not God but a swastika
So black no sky could squeak through.
Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,
In the picture I have of you,
A cleft in your chin instead of your foot
But no less a devil for that, no not 
Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.
I was ten when they buried you.
At twenty I tried to die
And get back, back, back to you.
I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,
And they stuck me together with glue.
And then I knew what to do.
I made a model of you,
A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the screw.
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I'm finally through.
The black telephone's off at the root,
The voices just can't worm through.

If I've killed one man, I've killed two--
The vampire who said he was you
And drank my blood for a year,
Seven years, if you want to know.
Daddy, you can lie back now.

There's a stake in your fat black heart
And the villagers never liked you.
They are dancing and stamping on you.
They always knew it was you.
Daddy, daddy, you bastard, I'm through.

12 October, 1962

Sylvia Plath died this day in 1963. This is one of her more well-known poems.

Beyond Reach (poem)

Beyond Reach

I meet her in the deeps

seaweed in her hair

and she smiles at me

tantalising promises

every time I reach out

she escapes from my touch

when I’m on the beach

she is there by the waters edge

she beckons to come closer

but once I approach,

she slips back into the sea

the waves, she says to me,

the waves are relentless

once you find yourself

going under

you are forever lost

among the kelp and sea-water

Joanne Fisher

Second stanza begins “when I’m on the beach”. Third stanza begins “the waves, she says to me”.

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©️2021 Joanne Fisher

Darkness III (poem)

Darkness III

the black dog

visits, an

old familiar

friend, most

are with

someone

they love, yet

all i have

is this, just

my demons

working me

over, left

to myself

my music

cradles me

Joanne Fisher

I had plans to do my 2020 review, but I’m not in any state to do that right now. Maybe tomorrow…

As WordPress chooses to publish my poetry with no stanza breaks, no matter what I try, here are were the breaks are: the second stanza begins with “friend, most”, the third stanza begins with “they love, yet”, the fourth stanza begins with “me demons”, and the last stanza begins “to myself”. Every three lines basically…

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©️2021 Joanne Fisher

Fallen (poem)

Fallen

in the end I was always

a child of the dark, even though

once I was a shining light

there I was, in Paradise

but my heart was uneasy

never a team player, all I wanted

was a change in the management,

I was cast out, and fell a long way…

Hell was already there, all I did

was make it my own, a reflection

of my own torment

my wings broken, through

the long millennia they began

to heal, until one day

I launched into the air

and for the first time flew

above my own dark kingdom

Joanne Fisher

word count: 99

I think I’ve been watching too much Lucifer lately…

This was my second response to the prompt of a first flight provided by the Carrot Ranch August 13 Flash Fiction Challenge.

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©️2020 Joanne Fisher

The Shadow on the Street (poem)

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The Shadow on the Street

 

And I will show you something different from either

Your shadow at morning striding behind you

Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you

T.S. Eliot

 

One early summers morning

I was walking down the road

and there I chanced upon a shadow

bereft of anybody attached to

“How strange!” I remarked

as I continued walking on,

but when I turned I noticed

it had begun to follow me

I thought maybe it would

eventually tire and give up,

but still it continued following

when I got to the door of my home

it stopped and waited outside

“How strange!” I thought

 

That night I awoke to find

the shadow was in my room

and it pounced on me as I lay

there paralysed in my bed

unable to scream, I could feel it

melting through my skin

attaching to me, then I realised

it had been my own shadow all along.

 

Joanne Fisher

 

I’ve been quite sick from an aggressive cold and been bedbound for the last two days. This was meant to be quite brief, but the poem turned out being far longer than I was intending. At the beginning I was deliberately using folk song phrasing to give it more older feel, though I ditched the rhyming scheme, then I incorporated a nightmare I had in my early twenties of a shadow being in my room and then melting into my body without me being able to move or scream. That nightmare still feels scaringly real…

 

 

This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #91.

 

 

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©2020 Joanne Fisher

 

 

Another Birthday (thoughts)

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Not actually my birthday cake, but it looks good huh?

 

To hatch a crow, a black rainbow

Bent in emptiness

                                  over emptiness

But flying

 

Ted Hughes

 

To be honest I’ve been in a dark mood lately. I was thinking about starting with a quote and what is above is the first thing that came into my mind, and since I’m being honest here these are the sort of posts I really hate to read, so I’ll understand if you choose to avoid this post too. Just go and make a cup of tea or something…

For the record I really love the creative posts on WordPress, whether it is poetry, fiction, art, photography, satire, etc. I’m not as interested in reading people’s thoughts, opinions, or reflections. I mean it’s okay if I agree with it, but what if I don’t? What if I find it too simplistic, or flawed, objectionable, or full of conjecture? I tend not to argue with people I disagree with online, instead I just try to ignore it and not let it get to me. Arguing online is a huge waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. Both sides will still believe what they want to believe, but they will now be angry with each other. Facts will always be ignored if they contradict people’s belief systems or tribal affiliations, that’s how people work. Also we live in very polarising times, which makes it harder to have any sort of reasoned political debate.

Anyway to get back on topic… My birthday was a couple of days ago now. On the eve of my birthday I managed to put my lower back out, which is not unusual for me, though the timing really sucked. The next day I had a booking at a restaurant in the evening where I was going to meet a few friends. When I woke up on my birthday, I found my back felt a lot better and I was able to move freely. Hooray! I thought. Then one of my friends messaged me. He had noticed the restaurant was now closed for a private function in the evening. I messaged the restaurant and eventually they got back to tell me that they hadn’t realised the restaurant had already been booked out for a private function that evening when I had made my booking. Okay, I can forgive that mistake, but they made no attempt to tell me. If my friend hadn’t noticed it, we would have turned up to find the place unavailable, despite the booking. Later that afternoon my back then seized up again and I spent the rest of the day in a lot of pain. Maybe having to cancel the dinner was a good thing, because there was no way I would have been able to attend it anyway, as it turned out. Later in the evening a friend came round with goodies and we watched episodes of The Mandalorian while eating Thai food. I also ended up drinking some of my flatmate’s Jack Daniels as I was out of painkillers. At least that part of the day was enjoyable. I couldn’t say I was surprised by the turn of events as this sort of crap seems to happen quite regularly in my life, in fact these days I almost expect things to go wrong…

Since my birthday I’ve spent the last couple of days in a lot of pain, though my back does appear to be getting better slowly. All that said, I have been in a dark mood due to this (though I was in this dark mood in the week prior to my birthday as well). I have had lower back problems since I was 18. Constant back pain just wears you down in the end, at least that’s what I’ve found. At times, I have thought about ending my life just so the pain will definitively come to an end. The one thing that has kept me alive on this planet is hope. Hope that tomorrow will be a good day. Hope that things will be better in the future. If I ever lose this hope, I’m not sure what will happen.

 

Anyway, here are some funny memes:

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Which play is that?

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I do like the Segway idea.

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Take care everyone. Kia kaha.

 

 

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©2020 Joanne Fisher