The Chair (flash fiction)

The Chair

“There it is!”

“That’s the chair you were talking about?”

“Yup. What do you think?”

“This is the chair you want to take home?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Why do you want us to have this chair?”

“Because it’s a chair. I’m sure we could use it.”

“What for exactly?”

“Er, sitting on?”

“You want to sit on that chair?”

“Sure.”

“It’s covered in moss. Or have you failed to notice that?”

“I know it’s covered in moss, but we could remove it somehow.”

“Somehow? Like how exactly?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Big surprise there.”

“I just thought it looked like a good chair and we should take it since no one else seems to want it.”

“Yes you’re right there. I’m pretty sure no one else wants it.”

“We could reupholster it.”

“And you know how to do that?”

“Why are you so negative all the time?”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 150

This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #120.

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Šī¸2021 Joanne Fisher

Atlantis Needs Cars? (flash fiction)

Atlantis Needs Cars?

“I guess it must have been driven off the cliff.”

“But you also find remains of boats on the beach.”

“Are you suggesting it was washed up on the shore?”

“Well maybe.”

“So where it would it have come from?”

“Perhaps it comes from Atlantis.”

“Atlantis? A mythical underwater city?”

“Yeah that’s the one.”

“Why would they need cars?”

“How else would they get around?”

“They could swim everywhere.”

“I dunno, that sounds a bit tiring.”

“Okay, so how would they build a metal car underwater?”

“Maybe they import them?”

“From where? Wakanda? Agrabah?”

“No idea.”

“How would they even drive a car underwater?”

“Perhaps Atlantis is enclosed in a giant bubble or something.”

“And so they drive the cars inside this bubble?”

“Exactly! You got it!”

“So how did this car end up outside this bubble?”

“It must have crashed.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Hey where you going?”

“Away from you.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 150

This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #109.

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Šī¸2020 Joanne Fisher

Display (flash fiction)

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Display

“So what do you think is going on here?”

“Well as you can see someone’s been brutally murdered and had their skin and flesh stripped off, and now it’s being investigated.”

“And they just left the body there for everyone to see?”

“Obviously!”

“You don’t think it’s a just a shop window display?”

“No it’s the site of a gruesome murder!”

“Well I’m not convinced. I’m just wondering what they’re trying to sell. Chaise longues? Union flags? Skeletons?”

“Or murders maybe?”

“Well okay, but maybe they’re just trying to be confusing or daring so you’ll walk in there to check the place out.”

“So they can then murder you and strip off your skin and leave you as a window display?”

“Perhaps, but the odds of that happening are fairly remote I suspect. Shall we go in and have a look?”

“Okay, but you go in first.”

“Fine.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 148

This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #104.

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Š2020 Joanne Fisher

The Writer Has A Talk With Herself (flash fiction)

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The Writer Has A Talk With Herself

 

 

“So what’s the problem?”

“I can’t think of anything to write.”

“Why not write one of those dialogue thingys you like doing?”

“Okay, this is really starting to get meta…”

“Maybe if you went out and talked to actual people, you might get more inspired. It’s a shame you’re such a misanthrope.”

“No I’m not! There may be a few people out there I’m not terribly fond of, but that’s it. I’m just an introvert who loves their alone time.”

“Yeah right! You’re in a room having a dialogue with yourself, what does that tell you?”

“I’m a writer?”

 

Joanne Fisher

 

Word count: 99

 

This was written with the prompt misanthrope provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #169.

 

 

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Š2020 Joanne Fisher

Peristeronic (flash fiction)

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Peristeronic

 

“Pigeons?”

“Yes pigeons.”

“Why do you want to start breeding pigeons?”

“Because I like them.”

“Why? They’re virtually rats with wings!”

“That’s a bit harsh! If that’s how you think, you obviously know nothing peristeronic.”

“What now?”

“It means relating to pigeons.”

“Like I care? I have no desire to relate to pigeons.”

 

Joanne Fisher

 

Word count: 53

 

This was written with the prompt peristeronic provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #168.

 

 

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Š2020 Joanne Fisher

 

 

 

 

 

 

Evening Plans (flash fiction)

Two women talking on a park bench

Evening Plans

 

 

“So I guess you’ll be off gallivanting with your friends tonight?”

“We’re only going out for a meal, so it’s hardly gallivanting, which makes it sound far more interesting.”

“Well it’s better than what I’ve got planned.”

“You’re always welcome to join us.”

“Nah, I’ll pass.”

 

Joanne Fisher

 

Word count: 46

 

Happy Solstice to everyone! Where I am it’s the Winter Solstice ❄ī¸, but I guess for most of you it will be the Summer Solstice 🌞

 

This was written with the prompt gallivant provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #162.

 

 

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Cool dragon pic I found recently.

 

Š2020 Joanne Fisher

 

Uses of a Time Machine 2 (flash fiction)

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Uses of a Time Machine

 

2

 

“Why did you build this time machine?

“So I can go back in time to prevent myself from building a time machine of course!”

“Er, wouldn’t it have been easier to just not build it then?”

“No, it’s an experiment.”

“Okay…”

“You see if I can go back in time to prevent myself from building a time machine, then I don’t build it, but as I haven’t built a time machine then I don’t go back in time to prevent myself from building it, which means that I do build the time machine. Or so I think.”

“I’m tying to get my head around that. And that’s an experiment?”

“Yes! If I go back in time to stop myself building the time machine, I want to see what happens: Do I build the time machine or do I just carry on without one, making this timeline we’re both in cease to exist?”

“But if you go back in time to prevent yourself from building a time machine, surely you would have already had an encounter with yourself telling you not to build the time machine?”

“No, because it hasn’t happened yet.”

“My head hurts. So there is a chance we won’t ever have this conversation?”

“Maybe. Wanna come with me?”

“Tempting. Are there any dangers with this?”

“Well time might just sort itself out, but there is a strong risk we’ll end up getting stuck in an infinite time-loop of building a time machine then going back in time to stop myself building a time machine, but then building a time-machine and then going back in time to stop myself building a time machine, and so on.”

“That doesn’t sound fun.”

“Don’t worry we probably won’t realise we’re in an infinite time-loop. There’s also a minuscule risk that if I go back in time to meet myself I could cause a rip in the space-time continuum and end the Universe as we know it.”

“Wonderful. Is it really worth that risk?”

“But it’s an experiment! Research is research after all. Admittedly I’ll probably never know the actual result…”

“Can we not do this, please?”

 

Joanne Fisher

 

Personally, aside from Doctor Who, I have a real dislike of time travel in stories. Often the paradoxes created can get really convoluted…

I used to have a list of stupid uses for a time machine. I’ve forgotten that list, but this series is about stupid or pointless things you could do if you actually built a time machine. I’ll keep adding to this series as ideas hit me. If anyone else has any ideas feel free to let me know, or write one yourself 🙂

Also, so far my WordPress editor hasn’t yet morphed into the new block editor (or maybe it has and I haven’t noticed). All is good.

 

Previous: Uses of a Time Machine 1

 

Did you know you can see my blog posts on my Joanne the Geek Facebook page?

 

 

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Š2020 Joanne Fisher

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Bridge (flash fiction)

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The Bridge

 

“So what’s so special about this bridge?”

“It’s my bridge.”

“Your bridge?”

“Yes some guy sold it to me for $25,000. Gave me the title deed and everything.”

“A title deed for a bridge?”

“Yep. It was all official an’ all.”

“So it’s yours now?”

“Well I believe so, but the City Council disagrees.”

“Oh really?”

“They told me it wasn’t his bridge to sell.”

“That’s a surprise…”

“It was. According to the City Council it belongs to them, and it was never for sale.”

“Fancy that! So what now?”

“Well as far as I’m concerned it’s my bridge. I paid for it, so I’m staying here. They can try and drag me away if they want.”

“Why do you need a bridge anyway?”

“Well I am a troll, and trolls need a bridge to live under. It’s traditional.”

 

Joanne Fisher

 

Word count: 138

 

This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #81.

 

Author’s note: Shortly WordPress will be bringing in their new editor for us to write our posts with.  I’m not really hearing anything good about this new editor at the moment, and to be honest I’m not happy about it. I am happy with what we’re using now and I don’t know why they are insisting on changing it.  I am considering my future with this site.

 

Did you know you can see my blog posts on my Joanne the Geek Facebook page.

 

 

Please donate! 🙂

 

 

Š2020 Joanne Fisher

 

 

Investigation (flash fiction)

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Investigation

 

“Hmm, these humans seem to spend a lot of their time trying to amuse themselves. They lack focus, that’s their problem. Are they all desperately unhappy?”

“I’m not sure. Some seem happy.”

“So what does this one do then?”

“The humans climb to the top and then slide back down.”

“Is that all?”

“Apparently.”

“So what’s the point of it? Where’s the amusement in that?”

“They sort of get a feeling of excitement when they slide down, apparently.”

“I see. So it’s a gravity thing?”

“It would appear so.”

“They do seem to be enjoying it. I wonder what it feels like. Maybe we should try it out to see what these humans are experiencing.”

“Yes it would be good for our research purposes.”

“I think so too. We could mention it in our report.”

“And then maybe we could go get an ice-cream afterwards?”

“Okay, if we must.”

 

Joanne Fisher

 

Word count: 149

 

This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #79.

 

 

Please donate! 🙂

 

 

Š2020 Joanne Fisher