The Secret Ingredient (micro fiction)

The Secret Ingredient

“These cupcakes are delicious! I’ve eaten six already!”

“Help yourself.”

“I will! They’re wonderfully citrus flavoured. What’s your secret you saucy minx?”

“I use lemon zest, and there’s also a surprisingly large amount of arsenic in them, but that’s tasteless. Enjoy!”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 41

This was written with the prompt zest provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #262.

This was inspired by Greg’s Blog’s Tea Time Secrets (though mine’s nastier).

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Šī¸2022 Joanne Fisher

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Provocative? (flash fiction)

Provocative?

“Why are you so provocative?”

“Provocative?”

“You know, lesbionic.”

“Lesbionic?”

“You just going to repeat everything?”

“Yeah, until you make some sense. What’s your beef?”

“Do you always have to act so queer?”

“I’m not altering my behaviour to make you feel better. I’ve fought to be who I am, and I’m not changing that for anyone.”

“I wish I had your confidence.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 62 + prompt

This was written with the prompt provocative provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #256.

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Šī¸2022 Joanne Fisher

Yodel, not Yoda (flash fiction)

Yodel, not Yoda

“What was that weird sound?”

“Sorry, I was trying to yodel.”

“I thought you were having a fit. Yodel? Isn’t that a character from Star Wars?”

“You’re thinking of Yoda, the Jedi Master who taught Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back. He was also in Return of the Jedi, and the prequel trilogy.”

“Geek.”

“You did ask.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 57 + prompt

This was written with the prompt yodel provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #254.

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Šī¸2022 Joanne Fisher

A Real Pirate? (flash fiction)

A Real Pirate?

“When I was told we were being attacked by pirates, this wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“Don’t I look like a pirate?”

“Well with the eye-patch and the parrot on your shoulder yes you do, it’s just that pirates today generally use small fast boats instead of sailing ships, and are armed with Kalashnikovs rather than cutlasses.”

“They don’t understand the romance of being a pirate.”

“Ah yes, the romance of robbing people at sea.”

“Shiver me timbers, are you being sarcastic? If you’re not careful you’ll walk the plank!”

“Oh really?”

“Mark my words you landlubber, you’ll end up in Davy Jones’ Locker yet. I mean it!”

“Ooh I’m so scared.”

“Is that sarcasm again?”

Joanne Fisher

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Šī¸2022 Joanne Fisher


Uses of a Time Machine 4 (flash fiction)

Uses of a Time Machine 4

“Hey I’ve got a great idea for the time machine you’ve just built. We could go back in time and see the dinosaurs!”

“We’ve already done that. Several times in fact.”

“Huh?”

“Every time we go back and see the dinosaurs, you get stepped on by a brontosaurus, and I have to come back to this point.”

“Don’t you mean a diplodocus?”

“No, I mean a brontosaurus.”

“Surely it can’t happen every time. Let’s try it again!”

“Okay. If you insist…”

“Are we there yet?”

“Yes. Just go out the doors and you’ll see the dinosaurs.”

“Sweet! Oh look a brontosaurus! Aarrgghh!”

“*sighs* Okay, back to the reset point again.”

“Hey I’ve got a great idea for the time machine you’ve just built. We could go back in time and see the dinosaurs!”

“I seem to be stuck in a loop.”

Joanne Fisher

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Šī¸2022 Joanne Fisher

The Buyer (flash fiction)

The Buyer

“So is this where you grow it?”

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you worried others are going to find it.”

“Nah. It looks so decrepit everyone just thinks it’s been abandoned.”

“You got much in there?”

“I’ve got a few plants there. I can certainly manage to give you a couple of leaves. For the right price that is.”

“Of course. I have the money.”

“So you know how to prepare it?”

“I’ve read online how to do it and thankfully I still have a personal stash that should last until the new supply is ready.”

“Well good luck with that.”

“So what did you grow here before?”

“I used to grow lots of weed here, but ever since they made tobacco illegal, it has become more advantageous to grow that. The value of it has really shot through the roof lately. So a couple of leaves then?”

“Yes whatever you can manage.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 150

This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #176.

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Šī¸2022 Joanne Fisher

Red and the Wolf (flash fiction)

Red and the Wolf

“Can I ask a question?”

“Sure.”

“How come you can talk?”

“Well, how come you can talk?”

“But you’re a wolf.”

“So what? All wolves can talk.”

“I don’t think that’s right.”

“Just hand over the baked goods girl.”

“They’re for my grandma.”

“Your grandma? All that pastry high in saturated fats? You trying to give her a heart attack?”

“You’re a very strange wolf.”

“How so?”

“Don’t you eat people like me, rather than pies?”

“Ugh no thanks, you haven’t even been cooked.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 84

This was written with the prompt question provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #232.

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Šī¸2021 Joanne Fisher

Newspapers (flash fiction)

Newspapers

“What’s that you’re reading?”

“A newspaper.”

“What, you printed one out?”

“No I bought it from down the street from the newsagents.”

“You bought it?”

“Yes, newspapers were in print a long time before they ever appeared online, and still are in print.”

“Wow. So how does it update?”

“It doesn’t. There’s a new edition printed every morning, though some print an updated edition later in the day.”

“Fascinating.”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 68 + prompt

This was written with the prompt newspaper provided by Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #225.

Please support this blog – Ko-fi 🙂

Šī¸2021 Joanne Fisher

Childhood Beliefs (flash fiction)

Childhood Beliefs

“What was one of the oddest beliefs you had as a kid?”

“I used to think American kids slept with taxidermied animals.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because they always called them stuffed animals. So I thought they were literally sleeping with animals that had been stuffed. Here we call them soft toys. What about you?”

“There’s this brand of bacon called Kiwi Bacon. When I was a kid, the bus I traveled to school on went past a building with a large kiwi sitting on it with the sign “Kiwi Bacon”. So I thought they made their bacon from kiwis…”

“I wonder what that would taste like…”

Joanne Fisher

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Šī¸2021 Joanne Fisher

The Chair (flash fiction)

The Chair

“There it is!”

“That’s the chair you were talking about?”

“Yup. What do you think?”

“This is the chair you want to take home?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Why do you want us to have this chair?”

“Because it’s a chair. I’m sure we could use it.”

“What for exactly?”

“Er, sitting on?”

“You want to sit on that chair?”

“Sure.”

“It’s covered in moss. Or have you failed to notice that?”

“I know it’s covered in moss, but we could remove it somehow.”

“Somehow? Like how exactly?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Big surprise there.”

“I just thought it looked like a good chair and we should take it since no one else seems to want it.”

“Yes you’re right there. I’m pretty sure no one else wants it.”

“We could reupholster it.”

“And you know how to do that?”

“Why are you so negative all the time?”

Joanne Fisher

Word count: 150

This was written with the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #120.

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Šī¸2021 Joanne Fisher