The Big Reveal, part three (fiction)


The Big Reveal


“Bigfoot?!” Bob blurted out in surprise.

“I prefer Sasquatch, you know.” The figure said looking irritated. He stood up revealing he was at least nine feet tall.

“You run our cleaning service?” Carly asked incredulously.

“Just because I’m covered in hair from head to foot and I have lived in a forest, it doesn’t mean I don’t know how to operate a business.” Bigfoot replied. “Is that my coffee you’re holding?”

“Um yes.” Carly said. She approached the desk reluctantly and put the coffee down on the desk top.

“Please sit down, both of you. And don’t worry, I won’t bite!” Bigfoot told them as he sat down again. Bob and Carly edged forward and slowly sat on the chairs by the desk.

“Why run a business like this?” Bob asked.

“Who better to run a shadowy business than someone who’s made a career out of not being seen who employs people that are ignored to get rid of bodies that shouldn’t be there? I noticed you humans have at tendency to harm each other, and I saw an incredible business opportunity. Cigar?” He opened a box and offered them cigars. Bob declined, but Carly took one. Bigfoot lit himself another cigar and drank his coffee.

“So where do all those weird robots come from?” Carly asked.

“Weird robots?”

“You know, the ones that clean out the vans.” Carly explained.

“My people are far more advanced than you realise.” Bigfoot revealed. Bob and Carly looked at each other in surprise. “We have kept an eye on your species since the dawn of time.”

“So what do you plan to do with us?” Bob asked.

“I’ve been giving that some consideration. While it’s nice to talk to some of my employees like you for a change, you really shouldn’t be here. I don’t like my cover being blown. I like it that most people  don’t think I exist, but one of you might blab about it in the future, or even let my existence slip by mistake. I can’t take that chance, so there are two options available to you both.”

“Okay.” Carly replied as her heart rate increased. Both her and Bob feared the worst. Bigfoot looked at them both.

“Either the two of you stay here in this facility for the rest of your lives, or we mind wipe you.”

“Mind wipe? What exactly does that entail?” Carly asked.

“We’ll make you forget everything you’ve seen here. You’ll remember finishing your shift last night, but not what happened afterwards. We’ll then return you to your homes. You’ll wake up with no memories of this.”

“In our homes? You have access to them?” Bob clarified. Bigfoot just looked at him blankly.

“Why yes. We have access to your homes, all your accounts, we know who your family members are, and who the people you see most often, where you hang out, what you eat for lunch. Everything.”

“I had no idea…” Carly stated.

“I like to know who is working for me. It’s a sensitive operation, I have to know how reliable you are and everything about you.”

“Major creep!” Carly blurted out, Bigfoot ignored her.

“Why don’t you just kill us?” Bob inquired. Bigfoot looked at him surprised.

“Do you want us to?”

“No, I just thought it would be easier to get rid of us that way.”

“Well yes, but I’ve looked at your records and you’re both good workers. I would hate to lose either of you. And we would have to find and train a couple of more cleaners, and that’s a lot of bother.” Bigfoot told him. He then sat back and looked at them both. “So what’s it going to be? Do you want to stay here, or be mind wiped?” He looked at them both expectantly.


The alarm went off.  Carly woke up and switched it off. She sat up in her bed. She didn’t remember coming home last night, but obviously must have. She remembered herself and Bob finishing their job and then it was all a blur. She had planned to go out and shoot some pool, but obviously she must have crashed when she got home. Though something on the edge of her memory was bothering her… Just then her phone rang.

“Hi.” She said

“Hey it’s Bob. I must have been so tired last night. I can’t remember anything after work. I must have crashed as soon as I got home.”

“Yeah same.”

“Weird huh?”

“Something’s bothering me, like I’ve forgotten something big, but I have no idea what.”

“That’s strange, I feel the same. Maybe the job is making us crazy.” Bob suggested.


“See you at tonight’s shift?”

“I’ll be there.” Carly replied.

“Okay. Later!”

Carly put her phone down. Maybe she had been more tired than she realised. She decided to lie back down and get more sleep. She just wanted to get that weird image of a tall humanoid covered in hair sitting at a desk and smoking a cigar out of her head. Talk about random!


Bigfoot sat back in his chair. How come those two accidentally lock themselves in the back of the van so many times? That was the third time this month alone. Maybe next time they would have to do something different…

The End.

Joanne Fisher

Previous: Part One, Part Two

Well that’s it for those two, but you never know maybe I might write about them again one day.

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©2020 Joanne Fisher

The Big Reveal, part two (fiction)


The Big Reveal


The van had stopped moving. Carly and Bob looked at each other with concern. Almost immediately there seemed to be weird sounds coming from above, like drones were flying above the van. Suddenly the doors of the van opened up. In front of both of them hovered a robot. It was circular shaped, about three feet high and five feet wide. The top of it was a dome which seemed to have sensors, while its body was covered in robotic arms that went all the way around it. It looked at them and suddenly it’s dome lit up bright red.

“BIOLOGICALS! WHAT ARE BIOLOGICALS DOING HERE?” the robot screeched. Carly slowly approached it, wondering if she was doing the right thing.

“Hey we accidentally locked ourselves in the van. We tried to get out, but couldn’t.” she explained.


“Believe me, we don’t want to hang around for that.” Carly replied.

“So where do we go?” Bob asked.


“Okay, just show us the way and we’ll skedaddle.” Carly said.


Both Carly and Bob quickly got out of the van. Neither of them particularly wanted to end up going through the “sterilisation process”, whatever that meant. Once they were out they saw they were in a huge factory. Hundreds of robots were flying about overhead. There were also many other conveyor belts each having a van on them also in the process of being cleaned. They found a narrow path and, assuming it was the way to administration, followed it. Eventually they came to some double doors. Since they both felt they had little to lose at this point, they just went on through them without even stopping.

They came into an office. There at a desk was an overweight middle-aged man with a thick mustache seated looking at monitors. When he looked up and saw them, he seemed taken aback.

“What are you two doing here?” he asked. “You’re not meant to be here.”

“Yes we’ve gathered that.” Carly replied.

“We got locked in the back of our van.” Bob informed him. The man laughed.

“Does that happen very often?” Carly asked.

“No. It has happened before, but not for a long time. The Boss isn’t going to like this!” He picked up the phone. “Can I speak to The Boss please? Thanks. Hello Sir. We have two cleaners here… I don’t know… They say they got locked in the back of their van somehow… What shall I do with them?… Okay!” The man looked at them and smiled. “The Boss wants to see you.”

“Really?” Bob asked.

“Yes. Just go into that small lift there.” He pointed to a lift directly on the other side of the office. “It will lead directly to his suite. Oh and take this.” The man handed Carly a disposable coffee cup. “He doesn’t like it when it gets cold.” Carly took the cup with her and followed Bob to the lift. On the side of the cup some handwriting had scrawled “Mr Big”. Carly smiled and showed it to Bob.

“Do you think he’s over-compensating?” she asked. Bob gave a half-smile. The truth was he was too worried and scared to find the humour in anything. They entered the lift and noticed there were no buttons to push. The doors closed and the lift went up for what seemed a long time. Finally the doors opened into a small room. A youngish woman sat at a desk filing her nails. She looked up at them as they walked in.

“We’re here to see The Boss.” Carly informed her.

“Just go on through. You’re expected.” the woman said. As she spoke, a door behind her slid open. Carly and Bob walked through. They were in a large spacious room. There was thick carpets, wood paneling, shelves full of books, and paintings. At the far end was a large oak desk. There sat The Boss smoking a cigar. He was covered in long dark hair.

“Bigfoot?!” Bob blurted out in surprise.

to be continued…

Joanne Fisher

previous episode

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©2020 Joanne Fisher

The Big Reveal, part one (fiction)


The Big Reveal


“He must have exploded!” Carly said wide-eyed in wonder.

“Yeah, we don’t need a mop and bucket so much a spatula.” Bob replied.

“Why build a giant microwave anyway? That’s just asking for trouble.”

“Well it is a popular fast food business. They just make everything beforehand and heat it up in the microwave in large lots when the wave of customers hits.” Bob explained. “Remind me to never eat here again.”

“So this guy must have walked in and then someone else must have closed the door and turned it on. Makes you wonder why.” Carly commented. Bob just shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s not our problem. We’re just here to clean up the body, or what’s left of it.”

“He certainly got into every crevice.” They both looked at each other and sighed.

“Well let’s get to it then!” Bob suggested.

They brought in their mops, buckets, squeegees, spray bottles, and industrial cleaners and then got to work. Within a few hours they had completely removed any trace of the poor unfortunate who had been splattered all over the insides of the giant oven. Before leaving they did a routine check they hadn’t missed anything, and carried out what remains there were in a black plastic bag. They then went down to the car park completely ignored by anyone they saw. Bob liked being a cleaner, since no one really paid much attention to you. You were both visible and invisible at the same time.

They loaded everything into the back of their white van with the words ERAZE printed on the side, removed all their protective equipment, and then drove off. Carly preferred to drive since she was relatively quick, but stealthy at the same time, which was important for people working in a business like theirs, particularly one they would rather not draw attention to. Once on the freeway they both relaxed a bit.

“Any plans after work?” Carly asked.

“No, I was just thinking of heading back to my apartment and collapsing onto my bed. It’s been a tiring day.”

“I know! Three bodies today! Who would have thunk it? People be cray cray at the moment!” Carly agreed. “I need to unwind first. I was thinking of going to the bar and shooting some pool. You’re welcome to come with.”

“You mean tag along and spend what’s left of the night watching you beat everyone? I think I’ll pass.”

“Your loss.” Carly replied shrugging her shoulders.

Carly parked the van in the Warehouse. She opened the back door and went inside to check the body remains had been correctly stored. Bob joined her, closing the door behind him.

“Why did you close the door?” Carly asked.

“Privacy.” Bob replied.

But it’s self-locking.”

“I thought you had the key.”

“No they’re still in the lock. Shit! Now we’re locked in!” Carly informed him.

“Crap!” Bob added. “How do we get out?” Carly squeezed past him and tried opening the doors, but they wouldn’t budge.

“I have no idea!” Carly replied. “What I do know is that once we leave the van, it is taken back to Headquarters and serviced.”

“Headquarters?” Bob gasped in horror and went pale. “We’re not meant to be there.”

“I know!”

“This is really bad isn’t it?’ Bob asked with a rising sense of panic. They both made for the doors and tried to force them open, but to no avail. Then suddenly they both felt they were going downwards, like they were in a lift. This sensation went on for some time. Once it stopped, they then felt the van move slowly forwards, as though they were now on a conveyor belt.

“Well, we’re definitely on the way to Headquarters. Thanks for ruining my evening bitch!” Carly remarked, feeling really pissed with Bob.

“Where abouts is it?” Bob asked.

“No idea. In fact I don’t think anyone knows, apart from the people that run this service obviously.”

“What will they do when they find us here?” Bob asked fearing the worst.

“Don’t know, but considering we work for a business that deals with erasing any evidence of dead bodies I’m not sure we’re going to walk away from this.” Carly replied. She sat down on the floor looking unhappy. “I should have been killing it on the pool table by now.”

“I’m sorry for closing the door on us. I wasn’t thinking.” Bob admitted.

“Damn right you weren’t!” Carly agreed.

All of a sudden the van came to a halt.

to be continued…

Joanne Fisher

This was originally a story I wrote for a competition, but then when I rechecked the rules I found I had got it horribly wrong, so I never submitted it. As it’s over two thousand words I thought I would post it here in three parts.

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©2020 Joanne Fisher

Cindy Gets Home (fiction)

Cindy Gets Home

Cindy landed on the ground with a thud. She sat up rubbing the back of her head. Babradon hadn’t warned her about the rough landing. She wondered where she was this time and spotted a middle-aged woman walking a fox terrier. Cindy walked up to her.

“Excuse me, where am I?” Cindy asked. The woman looked at her as though she was crazy.

“You’re just outside the town of Lawrence.” the woman told her before hurrying off and occasionally looking behind her. She was home! Finally! Now all she had to do was walk back to the farm…

Within half an hour she was at the front gate. She walked down the driveway to the homestead. As she approached Jess ran out the door and grabbed Cindy in her arms.

“Where have you been? You’ve been missing for days! People are out searching for you. I’ve been so worried.” Jess blurted out quickly as she hugged Cindy tightly.

“I can’t breathe!” Cindy got out. Jess relaxed her hold, and looked into Cindy’s eyes.

“Oh sorry! I’m just so relieved to see you. I really feared the worst. Let’s get you inside.” The two of them walked into their home with Jess leading the way. Cindy sat down on the couch in the living room while Jess kneeled in front of her. “Where have you been?”

“I got stuck.” Cindy replied.

“You got stuck?” Jess frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I got stuck in Faerie.” Cindy clarified. Jess sighed deeply and shook her head.

“Not this again.”

“I knew you wouldn’t believe me so I brought you back something from the Faerie market.” Cindy dug into the pocket of her jeans and produced a delicate silver bell and handed it to Jess. She looked at it moving it around in her fingers.

“And what did you use to trade for this? Magic beans?” Jess asked.

“I had a letter from Melissa. They were quite happy to exchange it for that.”

“You exchanged a personal letter from a friend for this in some market stall? Why did Melissa write to you?”

“She wanted to apologise for sleeping with you.” Cindy replied.

“Melissa had no need to apologise to you. When we had sex, you and I weren’t back together. You were still in the city.”

“I know.”

“So why all this jealousy with Melissa? Surely when you were in the city you dated other woman?”

“Yes.” Cindy answered.

“And I did likewise when I was here on my own. Who I slept with then is not really your concern. I don’t ask who you slept with in the city do I?” Jess asked while searching Cindy’s face.


“So why all this jealousy regarding Melissa? Are you afraid we’re going to hook up again?”

“I do worry about that.” Cindy admitted.

“She has her own girlfriend now, that tall pale blonde, and I’m sure they’re quite happy together. You have nothing to worry about.” Jess reassured her. “I think you should be more worried about your delusions.”

“My delusions?”

“Speaking to fairies and visiting fairyland.”

“My grandmother could see the fairies and speak to them. I’ve inherited her gift.” Cindy told her.

“Yes your grandmother told everyone that she spoke to the fairies, and she was nuts. Everyone knew that. I don’t want to see you go the same way.”

“I wish you’d believe me.” Cindy implored her, but Jess looked at her concerned.

“Your delusions are getting worse. Now you’re disappearing for days. What’s next? One day you don’t come back at all? You’re covered in dirt, your clothes are all ragged, and you really smell. It looks like you’ve been sleeping in a ditch for several days. For all I know that’s what you’ve been doing.” Jess informed her. “I want you to get help.” Cindy rolled her eyes.

“Okay.” Cindy replied, hoping this would appease her.

“We’ll talk more about it tomorrow. Right now you need to get out of those clothes and have a wash.” Jess told her softly. “I have some phone calls to make.” Jess gave her another long hug and left, Cindy slowly got up from the couch and walked to the bathroom. Maybe it would be better if she just kept quiet about Faerie from now on. If only Jess would believe her.

Joanne Fisher

This story follows The Other Portal.

This ends an 10 part story thread of Cindy’s adventures in Faerie, 11 if I ever write the Faerie market story…

Please donate! 🙂

©️2020 Joanne Fisher

Dumb Vampires 11 (fiction)

Dumb Vampires


The three of them were watching television. Body bags were being brought out of Sarah’s house. There also seemed to be innumerable police there.

“No wonder I can’t get anyone to come over if they’re all watching this! What few friends are left anyways…” Sarah complained.

“I’m hungry! And we’re out of blood.” Britney replied. Freya sighed.

“Well I told you this would happen.” Freya reminded them. “I’ll go somewhere and bring back some food.”

“Can’t we just order in. Like for some pizza and eat the guy that delivers it.” Britney suggested.

“Missing pizza guys are one way they could find us. It’s better if I just randomly grab someone off the streets.” Freya answered.

“Well if you’re going out, could you bring back some tequila as well?” Britney asked.

“Tequila? You don’t need tequila. You’re a vampire now for goodness sake.” Freya told her.

“Yeah, but I want some tequila.” Britney responded.

“I wouldn’t mind some too.” Sarah chimed in. Freya sighed again. Maybe I should just get in the car and drive off, Freya thought.

“Fine. Sarah, you come with me and get the tequila, and I’ll take care of the sustenance.” Freya decided.

“Wahoo! Tequila!” Britney exclaimed while doing her little tequila dance, which consisted of her gyrating her body as she sang the world tequila.

“Come on Sarah.” Freya said as she walked towards the door.

“What about me?” Britney asked.

“You just hold the fort.” Freya advised. Britney screwed up her nose.

“Fort? I thought this was an apartment.” Britney replied.

“It’s an expression.” Freya told her while wanting to repeatedly smack her head on the door. She left the apartment with Sarah following.

Outside Freya noticed a car sitting there she hadn’t seen before. When they got to their own car, Freya regarded it.

“Have you seen that car before?” Freya asked Sarah once they had both got in. Sarah shook her head.


“There are two men sitting in that car watching the building. We need to keep an eye on them.” Freya warned her. “We may have to leave this place very soon I suspect.”

“Okay.” Sarah replied. Freya started the car and they drove off. Sarah looked at the other car as they passed it. There seemed to be two men in that car, one older and one younger. Both wore glasses. They both glanced at her.

Once they got to an area with stores they parked the car. Sarah went to find some tequila, while Freya went in search of victims.

“Just get the tequila, no freelancing!” Freya advised. Sarah nodded.

A short time later Sarah came back with two large bottles of tequila. She saw that Freya had already brought back two people with her and was waiting. Sarah walked up to them. She wondered if the man and the woman waiting beside Freya had been charmed.

“This is Sarah.” Freya told the other two.

“Hi Sarah.” the man said. He was tall and had dark skin. “I’m Lewis.” Britney set the bottles down and then shook his hand. It was very warm.

“Hi Lewis.” Britney replied.

“Your hands are cold.” Lewis commented.

“It’s poor circulation.” Freya chipped in.

“So apparently we’re having a party! I see you’ve brought the drinks.” Lewis said smiling.

“Yep.” Sarah replied.

“And this is Sharlene.” Freya said. A short woman with long dark hair then shook Sarah’s hand. Her skin was very soft.

“Hi Sharlene.” Sarah said.

“Hi.” Sharlene replied, seeming rather shy.

“Now we all know each other, shall we get in the car?” Freya suggested.

“Sounds like a great idea.” Lewis replied.

They all got into the car and drove back to the apartment. Once they arrived, Freya parked the car behind the one she had noticed before. This time it was now empty. She sat there motionless for a short time and then turned to the others.

“I need to check something out. It might be nothing. Could you all wait in the car until I get back?” Freya asked.

“Sure, but don’t you need me?” Sarah asked. Freya shook her head.

“No, leave it to me.” She got out of the car and walked off in the direction of the apartment.

“What’s all this about?” Lewis asked after a time. Sarah turned around and looked at them both in the back seat. They both looked uncertain. She smiled at them.

“It’s nothing really. It’s just that there are two guys that have been harassing her, and she thinks they might be here.” Sarah explained. Lewis nodded thoughtfully.

“I can help if she needs it. It’s not a good idea for her to face two guys on her own.” Lewis commented. Sarah nodded and smiled at him again.

“It’s just a misunderstanding really. She won’t be in any danger.” Sarah replied. Not long after she said that there was an explosion of glass from above and Freya dropped to the ground. She suddenly got up and ran to the car, she then quickly got in and started the car up.

“We’ve really got to go!” Freya said as she put her foot on the accelerator and quickly drove off.

“What about Britney?” Sarah asked.

“They got her. I’m sorry.” Freya replied.

“Britney’s gone?” Sarah exclaimed. She felt tears beginning to fall down her face. “Not Britney!”

“Can I ask what’s going on? You fell down several floors and don’t have a scratch on you. And what do you mean Britney’s gone? Did they kill your friend? What sort of business are you two into?” Lewis asked in a panic. Sarah turned round gazed at him. “AND WHY IS SHE CRYING BLOOD?” This time he screamed.

“Be quiet.” Freya replied as they sped through the streets.

“Could you slow down please?” Lewis asked.

“Yeah let us out!” Sharlene suddenly screamed. She tried opening the door on her side but it was locked.

“Stop the car and let us out!” Lewis demanded. “I don’t want to know what you two are involved in and I don’t wished to be involved.” To everyone’s surprise Freya brought the car to a screeching halt.

“Please let us out.” Sharlene implored while sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. Freya turned round and grabbed her head. In an instant she snapped her neck and Sharlene fell lifelessly to the seat.

“MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HER! LET ME OUT NOW!!!” Lewis screamed. Freya grabbed him and did the same. She then turned around and started the car up.

“Where are we going?” Sarah asked her.

“We’re leaving the city. At least we’ve got some food for the journey now.” Freya replied. She put her foot on the accelerator and they sped off down the dark streets again.

Sarah looked regretfully at the two bodies now slumped lifelessly on the back seat.

to be continued…

Joanne Fisher

Previous chapters list: Dumb Vampires

It took a while for me to get around to continuing this story. At this stage it should only be around 15-16 chapters, but that said it may take longer to tell the story than I think it does, so for all I know it may end up being 20 or more chapters… You can never tell sometimes.

Please donate! 🙂

©️2020 Joanne Fisher

Tigers? (fiction)


The three of them were sitting in the Emperor’s small council room. They had met initially to discuss important matters regarding the Empire, but now had strayed on to other topics. For some reason the Seer was absent and so the Emperor was looking through some ancient records from his own personal library, the Arch-Wizard was stuffing some more tobacco into his pipe, while the Chancellor just sat there staring into space, an activity he was prone to doing.

“How long has our Empire existed, do you think? The official line that it has always existed, and always will, but I know it is less than 2000 years according to these records.” the Emperor asked.

“It’s hard to say, sire. At one point we were individual cities, and then a kingdom, and then an empire. I don’t know what year we finally saw ourselves as an empire in our own right. The records tend to be inexact about it, if the truth be told.” the Arch-Wizard replied as he lit his pipe and began exhaling smoke over the desk they all sat around.

“Haven’t we always been an empire? I can’t imagine the world ever existing without us.” the Chancellor replied dreamily.

“I know the official line is that one of the Lords of the World came over from across the sea and founded our empire when the world began, but I have cause to believe that isn’t the truth. I know this idea is invoked to make my subjects believe that the rest of the world is destined to be ruled by us, and this is convenient when I need to ask the nobles for funds when I want to invade other kingdoms, but this idea is not borne out if you look through the records. In fact, I think this idea is only a few generations old and was created by a former Emperor.” the Emperor told them.

“Well it is a great way to make everyone obedient to the Emperor’s authority, but yes I doubt also that is is the truth.” the Arch-Wizard agreed.

“What about the tigers?” the Chancellor suddenly asked.

“Tigers?” the Arch-Wizard clarified. “What do you mean?”

“When the world was still young there were two tigers that came across the first humans, and they liked them so much they decided to help defend them from all other predators in the area, and so the humans survived, and they were the founders of our Empire.” the Chancellor said. The Emperor looked at him with his mouth wide open.

“I’ve never heard that before.” the Emperor eventually said.

“I have sire, but I didn’t think anyone actually believed it was real.” the Arch-Wizard added. “The Two Tigers. It’s an old folktale, which originally came from another land I believe.”

“Okay, so how do you think our Empire began?” the Chancellor asked challenging the Arch-Wizard.

“Well if you go down to the lower levels of the Imperial Library it’s all there in the old histories. Our empire wasn’t always an empire. In fact we were once part of another empire called Strasal.” the Arch-Wizard revealed.

“Strasal? But they’re a small province of our empire!” the Chancellor replied incredulous.

“Yes but they were once a mighty empire that then went into decline and our own empire grew from it’s remains, as did others, like Karhrei, which is also now a province of our empire. If you go even further back, there are hints of an empire existing before Strasal, though it’s name is now lost. Empires seem to grow and then go into decline, and maybe even ours will do that one day. It is the way of things.” the Arch-Wizard explained. The Chancellor looked at him mortified.

“I wonder what the Seer would have said.” the Emperor used.

“He probably would have said something like all three explanations were true, and that the Chronicler just changed reality each time, or something just as enigmatic.” the Arch-Wizard replied sarcastically.

“You honestly believe that one day in the future our beloved empire may no longer exist?” the Chancellor asked in disbelief, still thinking about the Arch-Wizard’s words.

“Yes I do. Nothing lasts for ever in this world. If you ever had bothered to study history, you would understand that.” the Arch-Wizard replied as he blew smoke into the Chancellor’s face.. The Emperor smiled and brought a map onto the table.

“On that note, maybe we should grab what we can when we can!” the Emperor declared as he unrolled the map and began rubbing his hands together excitedly…

Joanne Fisher

This is a Durn story that came out of nowhere. As this setting has existed in various forms since I was a child, this story went through the various different creation ideas the Empire, or Tigreralat as it is also known, went through.

While looking for an image I found this lol…

Please donate! 🙂

©️2020 Joanne Fisher

Dumb Vampires 10 (fiction)




Dumb Vampires


Robert and Tom froze as Freya entered the room. She looked at the dust on the floor near Robert and then stared at him with the axe in his hands.

“Before we try to destroy each other, I suggest that maybe we should parley first?” Robert suggested as he lowered the axe. Freya stood by the door and regarded him.

“What do you wish to discuss?” she asked.

“First of all I would like to say it’s a great honour meeting you. I have been following your blood thirsty massacres for some time now, and it’s good to finally meet you in person.” Robert replied.

“Thank you. Can I say it’s good to finally meet you also Alejandro Cortez. Your reputation precedes you.”

“Why thank you.” Robert answered.

“Alejandro Cortez?” Tom repeated. Robert turned to him.

“I have many names.” Robert informed him. He then turned to face Freya again. “I have an offer: either I kill you and then Sarah, or you surrender.” Freya laughed.

“You want me to surrender?”

“Yes I would take you back to our headquarters. There you will be observed, and fed regularly.” Robert offered.

“What you really mean is that I will be stuck in one of your underground vaults, fed blood occasionally and incessantly watched by your cohorts. No thanks. From what I’ve heard the blood isn’t even very fresh.” Freya replied.

“You like your blood fresh?” Robert asked.

“The fresher the better. Straight out of a neck preferably.”

“My brief is to stop you killing people. So either you surrender and come back with us, or I will be forced to destroy you.” Robert stated.

“I have a counter offer: you and your boyfriend stop chasing me and Sarah, or I will eat you both.” Freya demanded, showing her fangs to them both.

“For the last time I’m not his boyfriend! I am not gay!” Tom shouted.

“Shut up pretty boy! The adults are talking.” Freya shot back. She faced Robert again. “I think I touched a nerve there.” Robert suddenly laughed.

“I get it now. It’s been puzzling me why you haven’t abandoned Sarah, like you have with all the others before her. In the past when the going got tough you would always abandon the ones you turned, but not her. What’s changed? You’re in love with her, that’s why you can’t let her go. And we’ve probably done you a favour by getting rid of your competition.” Robert suggested. Freya rolled her eyes at his words.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Freya replied shaking her head. “But yes, Britney was annoying, so I should thank you for destroying her.”

“So we’re at an impasse.” Robert stated. “Please consider coming back with us. I don’t much like following the trail of dead bodies you have a habit of leaving.”

“And what about Sarah?” Freya suddenly asked.

“She is of no interest to us. She will have to be destroyed too.” Robert answered bluntly. Freya sighed.

“Then we don’t have a deal.” She declared. “This is bullshit!” Catching them both off guard she suddenly ran out the door and jumped through the corridor window. At the sound of breaking glass Robert and Tom ran after her and stopped at remains of the window.

“That’s a long way down!” Tom remarked.

“She’s a vampire. I’m sure she’ll land on her feet.” Robert replied. He pulled out his phone as he ran to the stairs. “Detective Walker? I’ve found the suspect, but she’s escaped. I’m attempting to follow her. I’ve found more bodies at Emma Hooper’s residence. Detective Hughes knows the address.”

As they got down the stairs and out of the building, a car suddenly raced past them. They got to their car and attempted to follow.

“Where do you think they will head now?” Tom asked.

“Out of the city.” Robert replied as they drove into the darkness.

To be continued…

Joanne Fisher

Honestly I’ve really struggled with the new block editor tonight… It’s making me wonder if it’s really worth bothering with.

Index of previous chapters: Dumb Vampires

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©️2020 Joanne Fisher

Dumb Vampires 9 (fiction)


Dumb Vampires




Robert and Tom waited in the car. They sat there looking at the apartment building. It began to get dark. Time moved on…

“If we know they’re there, why don’t we just go in?” Tom asked feeling both impatient and nervous at the same time.

“You mean enter an apartment with three vampires? One of them ancient? I think it’s best we observe and wait to start with.” Robert answered.

A short time later two figures could be seen leaving the building. They walked in the direction of their car. For a short time they both held their breath, but the figures kept on walking. Robert’s eyes followed them as they went past. The two figures got into a car and then drove off.

“Was that two of them?” Tom asked.

“Yes.” Robert confirmed. “I do believe that was Freya and Sarah, if I’m not mistaken. That means there’s only one left in the apartment.” He opened the car door and got out. “Come on, let’s pay her a visit.” Tom nodded and opened the door on his side. They walked into the building and took the stairs. In a short time they were outside the door of Emma Hooper’s apartment. Robert softly knocked on it. They waited. The door was opened by a young pale woman with long brown wavy hair.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Hello there. I thought this was Emma Hooper’s address?” Robert replied.

“It is, but she’s out.” the young woman answered, slightly unconvincingly.

“That’s just too bad. I’m her uncle and I was in town and was hoping to see her.”

“Yes it is.” She looked at Tom. “Who’s this? Your boyfriend?” Without missing a beat Robert suddenly grabbed hold of Tom’s hand. Tom’s face went red.

“Why yes it is.” Robert confirmed. The woman laughed.

“Emma had a gay uncle! That’s just too much!” She said while laughing out loud.

“Sorry I didn’t introduce myself, I’m Robert Hooper, and this is Tom. Who are you?” Robert asked, choosing to ignore her obvious error.

“I’m Britney!” she answered.

“Well Britney, would I be able to come in and write a note for my niece, since I’ve missed her?” Robert inquired. Britney looked him and Tom up and down and then shrugged her shoulders.

“Sure.” Britney replied and opened the door wider to let them in. They both walked in. As Robert walked past her, he suddenly pulled out a wooden stake, and with one quick movement stabbed Britney squarely in the heart. Britney looked surprised and fell to the floor. Robert turned to Tom.

“Go to the car and open the boot. There you’ll find an axe. Bring it back up here, but conceal it as best you can. And be quick, we don’t know when the others will return!” He ordered. Tom nodded and left the apartment. Robert pushed the stake deeper into Britney’s heart, until it could go no further. He then got up and took a look around. The living room was full of dead bodies. “The detective is just going to love this!”  Robert didn’t have to wait long for Tom to return. Tom handed the axe to Robert as soon as he walked through the door.

“What now?” Tom asked.

“This is how you kill a vampire.” Robert instructed. He stood over Britney’s limp body with the axe in his hand. He swung it down and chopped Britney’s head off like he was splitting a log. Tom watched as Britney’s body slowly turned to dust.

The door opened. There stood a young woman with long blonde hair. She smiled malevolently at them.

“Freyja Halvorsen, I presume?” Robert asked with the axe still in his hand. She continued smiling at him.

“It’s always so good to hear the old names. You must be the hunters?” Freya asked as she revealed her fangs.


to be continued…


Joanne Fisher


Previous chapters index: Dumb Vampires


I only wrote half of what I was intending to. Telling a story always takes longer than you would expect.



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©2020 Joanne Fisher


Dumb Vampires 8 (fiction)


Dumb Vampires




“Sarah is nice girl. Well, maybe that’s being too generous. I mean she sometimes tries to be nice, to me that is. The trouble with her is that she is not running on all cylinders, if you know what I mean. Since her hormones kicked in, all she seemed interested in was partying and boys. I’m surprised her parents managed to persuade her to go to college. Maybe they told her there would be more parties and boys there.” Old Mrs Kensey said. Thompson and Mitchell nodded at her words. Detective Walker had told them the next door neighbour knew Sarah quite well, so they had visited her for more information. Old Mrs Kensey had short grey hair and was very slight. She wore a grey dress with a burgundy cardigan over it. “I can’t believe what’s happened. I didn’t know it was in her to do all this.” She glanced out the window at all the body bags being removed from next door and loaded onto a truck.

“We believe it was someone she knew that was responsible for this. If Sarah had any hand in it, then she was coerced in a way that’s hard to explain.” Robert told her softly. The woman shook her head looking devastated. “Did you see or hear anything strange over the last few weeks?”

“No, not really. I try to keep to my own business. Though I did notice a lot of people turning up there, but never coming back out, but when I would wake up the next morning their car would be gone, so I assumed they had left sometime during the night after I had fallen asleep.”

“All their cars have been found sitting abandoned in various parts of the city. We think the killer, or killers, drove the cars away after they had killed the victims. You didn’t see anything else?” Robert asked.

“It was over a week ago, I saw three of them leave the house and get in a car. Since then their house has been totally quiet, until now…”

“Three of them?” Tom asked surprised.

“Yes three of them.” Mrs Kensey confirmed. Robert looked thoughtful.

“You didn’t hear them say anything?” He asked.

“They seemed excited. They were laughing. I think I heard the name Emma being repeated, but I can’t be sure.” She replied.

“Emma? Thank you. You’ve been a great help.” Robert answered.

“Whatever Sarah has done, please be gentle with her. I’ve known her since she was a small child. This will destroy her parents.” Mrs Kensey pleaded.

“I’ll personally make sure she won’t suffer.” Robert replied, giving her a grim smile. “Thank you Mrs Kensey.” Both he and Tom walked back to the house next door.

“There’s three of them?” Tom asked bewildered.

“It appears so.” Robert replied as he readjusted his glasses.

“Has she ever turned two of them at the same time before?”

“Not to my knowledge, but there’s a first time for everything.” Robert replied glibly.

“So you still think it is her?”

“Without a doubt. No one else does carnage on this scale.” Robert walked up the steps to the house. Once inside he walked directly to a detective at a computer. “Are you looking at Sarah Williams’s social networking accounts?”

“Yes Sir.” She replied with an obvious English accent.

“Could you see if there is an Emma who lives locally.” He asked. She began looking through the accounts.

“There are two with the name of Emma living locally. There is an Emma Peake and an Emma Hooper.” She announced after a short time. She then checked her records. “Oh… Emma Peake was among the victims, but no Emma Hooper so far.”

“Okay. Can you find an address for her?” Robert asked.

“Sure no problem Sir.” She tapped away quickly at the keyboard. “She lives in apartment 15G Lowell Towers, 154 Evergreen Terrace.”

“Very good.”

“Shall I send a squad car round?”

“No I will check this out myself. If I need backup I will call for it.” Robert walked off out the door with Tom following.

“Are we seeing if she is still alive?” Tom asked as they both got in the car.

“No if my guesses are right, Emma is long dead now.”

“So what do you expect to find there?”

“Freya and her two friends.” Robert replied as he started the car.


to be continued….


Joanne Fisher



Previous chapters index: Dumb Vampires



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©2020 Joanne Fisher







Dumb Vampires 7 (fiction)



Dumb Vampires




“Her name was originally Freyja Halvorsen. She tends to go by the name Freya now. She was from somewhere in Scandinavia, but I don’t know what year she was born, though I suspect it was some time ago. Her modus operandi is to find a person, usually another woman, who has quite a large social circle and to turn them into a vampire so she can gain access to the woman’s friends to feed on. Once they run out of people to feed on, or they get discovered, Freya abandons them and the woman she has turned is left to face the consequences alone.  Time and again I have come across people she has turned, along with a large number of bodies, but she has always long since disappeared. One day I hope to confront her.” Robert said as he drove the car towards the city. Robert was middle-aged with a trimmed beard that had flecks of grey. His brown short hair was going mostly grey as well. He wore glasses with a thick black rims. Across from him sat a younger man in his thirties, who was clean shaven and had longer brown hair, and who also wore glasses. Both were wearing dark suits.

“So you think this recent find of bodies is linked to her?” Tom, the younger man, asked.

“Yes I do, and we have to be extra cautious. She is dangerous and has killed countless numbers of people.”  There was silence as they traveled on.

“Why do we have to do everything together?” Tom suddenly asked.

“What do you mean?”

“When we check into hotels we stay in the same room, we even eat all our meals together. Everyone who comes across us thinks we’re a gay couple. It’s really spoiling my game.” Tom complained. Robert brought the car to the halt and turned to face him.

“Our job is to hunt and destroy vampires, not chase tail. Vampire hunting is a very dangerous occupation and you need to keep your mind on the job. Failure to do so may cost your life, and mine also.” Robert reprimanded him.

“I understand, but can’t I have some time to myself occasionally?” Tom asked. Robert grunted and started the car up.

Once they were in the city, they drove down the street of a respectable looking neighbourhood, and parked outside a large house with two storeys. Police cars and vans were everywhere. Many police walked back and forth, while a lot of people stood on the sidewalk watching it all. There were also television cameras and photographers everywhere.

“They’re obviously very well off.” Tom commented.

“The couple that owns this house are away on a cruise. The authorities are trying to contact them. Their daughter, Sarah, was staying here alone over the summer. This case is slightly different as Sarah has also disappeared. I have never known Freya to take someone with her. This time it’s different for some reason.” Robert informed him.

“And yet you still think this is Freya’s handiwork?”

“Yes I do. Aside from taking Sarah with her, the rest of it is textbook Freyja Halvorsen.” They got out of the car and walked towards the police cordon. They both showed identification to the officers at the entrance. “I’m Agent Thompson, and this is my associate, Agent Mitchell. We’re tracking a serial killer and we believe this crime scene is their handiwork.” Robert told them.

Once inside they were taken to the lounge and met Detective Harry Walker, who was the chief investigating officer. Bodies were still being brought out from the basement. The lounge was full of dead bodies, most now lying in body bags.

“So I’m told you think this is the doing of a serial killer you’re tracking. Can you tell me more about them?” Detective Walker asked them. He was a man in his fifties with grey tidy hair and wearing a brown suit.

“It’s a woman called Freyja Halvorsen. She ingratiates herself with people who have a large circle of friends and then kills them all.”

“A woman did this?” Detective Walker asked surprised. He bent down and showed them a body. “Tell me this, is she crazy? All the victims have puncture marks on their bodies, multiple ones, and they’ve all been exsanguinated.”

“We believe she thinks she’s a vampire. As far as we can tell she apparently feeds on their blood.” Robert told him. Walker grimaced.

“So she’s insane then, and a serial killer. We’ve counted over thirty bodies. We’re trying to identify them all at the moment. So far they all have a link to Sarah Williams. Is she among the dead here, or has she disappeared as well?” Walker asked.

“I don’t know. She may be with the killer.”

“You mean as a hostage?”

“I don’t know. I need more information about her. Freya has sometimes got them to help her.” Robert answered. Walkers mouth opened in shock.

“You mean Sarah may have helped with this? I don’t believe it!”

“Sadly it’s what we’ve found on other occasions. We think Freya is highly charismatic.”

“She would have to be. But each time is it this number of victims?” Walker asked.

“Yes. Sometimes less, and sometimes even more.” Walker was aghast with this news.

“You mean she’s going from city to city creating this mayhem? She must have killed hundreds by now. How come I haven’t heard of her before?”

“Due to the high number of atrocities she’s committed, we have been very reluctant to share news about her.” Robert informed him. Walker looked troubled by the explanation, as though he didn’t totally believe it.

“Do you have any ideas of how to find her?” Walker asked.

“Yes I do.” Robert replied. “We work out the identities of the dead and then log into Sarah’s social networking sites and work out who else in this area among her contacts is theoretically still alive. That may lead us to Sarah, and possibly Freya.”

“You think she may still be in the city?”

“The fact that Sarah is possibly missing makes me believe they may be still hiding out somewhere else in the city. And detective?” Robert asked.

“Yes Agent Thompson?”

“If they are somewhere else in this city, there may be even more bodies to find.” Robert answered. Detective Walker sat down on the couch looking pale.


to be continued…


Joanne Fisher



Previous chapters index: Dumb Vampires



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©2020 Joanne Fisher