“Your majesty, we can’t travel through the forest.” The knight stated.
“Am I not King? My power here is absolute.” The King insisted.
“But the elves have control over the woodlands.”
“We’ll see about that!” The King strode to the forest edge. “Listen forest denizens, I am your King! You will let us through!” He fell over covered in arrows.
“That really showed them your majesty.” Said the knight dragging his body away. Thankfully his daughter was more sensible…
“Yes. Something comes and takes us from the shelf.”
“All of us?”
“Eventually we all get chosen.”
“What happens once we’re chosen?”
“No idea, but I have heard rumours.”
“Rumours? What do the rumours say?”
“That when we are chosen, we are taken away to some far place. There we are ripped open and our insides are scooped out.”
“Our insides? To do what with exactly?”
“I heard they scoop them out and eat them. Then our skins are discarded and thrown into the trash.”
“That sounds rather far-fetched to me, and needlessly horrific. There’s no reason to suppose anything bad is going to happen to us.”
“I know. I guess we will find out what happens when we are chosen.”
Joanne Fisher
Just a normal story of talking bags of potato chips… I was hoping to find an image from a New Zealand supermarket, but all the images I found seemed mostly from the United States.
Her name was Gloria, and she was the most popular girl in school. With long blonde hair and the perfect figure, she was too good to be true. Even I worshipped her from afar. I only went to the football games to watch her cheerleading. She, of course, didn’t know I existed, which wasn’t surprising since I was the nerdy dyke of the school. She once talked to me: “Out of my way Cheesebreath!” I’ve remembered those words long after high school, like today when I’m looking at her resume and about to interview her for a job vacancy.
Joanne Fisher
Word count: 99
This was written with the prompt Gloria provided by the Carrot Ranch March 6 Story Challenge.
I walked into the elevator and pressed the button. The doors closed and the elevator began moving. Looking at the display I noticed it said EEBY DEEBY with the arrow pointing up, instead of tenth floor, as it should have. Panicking about what was happening I tried pressing the alarm, but nothing happened. I tried accessing the phone but couldn’t open the compartment. Then the elevator slowed and came to a stop. The doors opened to reveal a tropical paradise. A warm breeze drifted in carrying the scents of many flowers.
“Welcome! You have gained admittance to the paradise of EEBY DEEBY.” The electronic voice in the elevator stated. I got out and looked around in wonder. Behind me I heard the elevator doors close. I turned around to see the elevator was gone. Instead there was a pathway leading up to the mountains where it had been.
Out in the distance was a sparkling azure sea. A city lay sprinkled along the coast with brightly painted buildings. The cerulean sky was a deep blue with a blazing sun at its zenith. Around me were trees with large dark green leaves and brightly coloured parrots squawking in the branches. A rough brown path led through the forest and down to the city where I could hear music playing.
It was all very nice, but what I had wanted was to get back to my hotel room.
There was a knock on my door. I opened the door to find Natalie standing there. I didn’t like her very much. She always did her best to belittle me to make feel like I was completely useless and a lost cause. Still, I had invited her to come over.
“Hi Natalie.” I said with as much enthusiasm I could muster.
“Hi Jane.” she said smiling. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to your home before. I didn’t realise it was so small, but I guess it suits you to live somewhere so simple and plain.” I smiled at back at her.
“Come in.” I said warmly. She followed while looking around for any flaw or imperfection she could comment on later. I led her to the living room. We both sat down on chairs facing each other. She looked out the window to the back garden.
“I see you’ve tried to do some gardening. I guess there’s not much you can do with that small space, not like my place where there’s so much room.”
“Yeah I just let it grow.” I admitted. She nodded her head as though I was admitting I was a complete failure.
“I remember you telling me you lived with a monster. So, have you broken up with them yet?” She asked. “Relationships can be so difficult. I’m lucky really, I’ve been happily married for years now.”
“The monster’s not my partner. I live with an actual monster, you know, large and furry with claws and sharp teeth.” I explained. Natalie looked at me like I had gone crazy.
“I see.” She said slowly. “Are you being serious?”
“Totally.”
“And is the monster here now?”
“They live in the back room.”
“So you’re not afraid of this monster eating you?” She asked.
“Nah, we have an agreement.” I replied.
“I see.” She said disbelievingly while staring at me in case I made a sudden movement in her direction.
“Coffee?” I asked.
“That would be nice.” She replied with a forced smile.
I went to the kitchen to grind some coffee, while there, I suddenly heard screaming come from the living room. As long as I brought the monster something to eat occasionally then we were cool and they let me live here. It was the monster’s house after all…
Jane hated Sheree. She not only hated Sheree, but regarded her as her mortal enemy. She watched Sheree constantly and knew every day she always sat down on a particular bench at one pm and ate her lunch while staring out to sea, a bench with a cannon behind it. So Jane hatched her evil plan…
She read up on how cannons work, had a cannonball made, acquired some gunpowder, and now today, she was finally ready. All she had to was wait for Sheree to turn up, and then move the cannon a little to the right…
Joanne Fisher
Word count: 98
I’m very intrigued by obsession and how it drives certain people.
joanne the geek 