Stories and thoughts about being a queer girl geek in the 21st Century.
I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all. I hope it’s a good one for you all.
Haiku
Xmas day –
we exchange
new phone
numbers
Joanne Fisher
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Copyright Joanne Fisher 2023
These movies are ones I always watch once Christmas approaches. A few of these movies may not be considered Christmas movies by some, but they are all set during the Christmas period and therefore belong on this list.
15. Anna and the Apocalypse (2018)
Feel like watching a Scottish zombie apocalypse Christmas musical? If so, this is the movie for you. Anna (Ella Hunt) and friends try to get to their school where their parents and loved ones are barricaded in from the previous night. The trouble is there are a lot of zombies in their way. An enjoyable, sometimes poignant, movie with some fun songs.
14. A Christmas Carol (1984)
Probably one of the best versions of Charles Dicken’s Christmas classic. George C. Scott plays a brilliant Scrooge, with a great supporting cast which includes Frank Finlay, David Warner, Angela Pleasance, Edward Woodward, and Susannah York. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (aka Ghost of Christmas Future) is pretty terrifying.
13. Happy Christmas (2014)
Jenny (Anna Kendrick) moves to Chicago and stays with her older brother Jeff (Joe Swanberg) and his wife Kelly (Melanie Lynskey) following a break-up. Jenny is rather irresponsible and her habits come to clash the rest of the household, though she does help Kelly come out of a rut.
12. Comfort and Joy (1984)
Heartbroken radio disc jockey Allan “Dicky” Bird (Bill Paterson) ends up being caught between two rival warring Glaswegian ice cream manufacturers during Christmastime. A sometimes surreal comedy.
11. In the Bleak Midwinter (1995)
Aka A Midwinter’s Tale. Unemployed actor Joe Harper (Michael Maloney) sets up a production of Hamlet in a church in his hometown with an ensemble cast. Written and directed by Kenneth Branagh with a great cast which includes Richard Briers, Joan Collins, Celia Imrie, John Sessions, and Julia Sawalha.
10. The Ice Harvest (2005)
Neo-noir black comedy which has Charlie Arglist (John Cusack) and Vic Cavanaugh (Billy Bob Thornton) stealing 2.1 million dollars from the mob boss they both work for on Christmas Eve in Wichita, Kansas. Due to the icy conditions they both decide to lay low until Christmas Day before they leave. Will they get away with the money or will there be betrayals? Supporting cast include Connie Nielsen, Randy Quaid, and Oliver Platt.
9. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) intends to have a great Christmas with his entire family. Unfortunately it quickly turns into disaster. The cast includes: Beverly D’Angelo, Juliette Lewis, Randy Quaid, and Johnny Galecki. Hilarious in places.
8. Bad Santa (2003)
Willie T. Soke (Billy Bob Thornton) and his dwarf assistant Marcus Skidmore (Tony Cox) are professional thieves posing as a Santa and Elf team for department stores at Christmas time, when in reality they intend to rob the place they work for on Christmas Eve. However this year is different when Soke begins tiring of this activity and also befriends an abandoned eight year old boy. Thornton plays a drunk who has lost his way incredibly well. Also stars John Ritter, Lauren Graham, and Bernie Mac.
7. Go (1999)
A crime comedy film with intertwining plots involving three sets of characters set during Christmastime. The cast includes Sarah Polley, Katie Holmes, Willian Fichtner, Timothy Olyphant, Jay Mohr, and Scott Wolf.
6. Christmas, Again (2014)
Bittersweet indie set in New York about a lonely Christmas tree seller who befriends a woman he finds passed out on a park bench one night. Stars Kentucker Audley and Hannah Gross.
5. In Bruges (2008)
After a hit job goes horribly wrong Ray (Colin Farrell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson) are ordered to lay low in the town of Bruges in Belgium during Christmas. While Ken is in awe of the architecture and art, Ray thinks the place is boring and tries to find other delights while he is there. Cast includes Clemence Poesy and Ralph Fiennes. This film always makes me want to visit Bruges during Christmas.
4. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
Neo-noir black comedy starring Robert Downey Jr. as Harry Lockhart, a small-time thief (and former magician), who surprisingly gets cast in a movie and ends up in Los Angeles during Christmas where he meets “Gay” Perry van Shrike, a private detective, and Harmony Lane (Michelle Monaghan), Harry’s childhood crush. The three of them end up getting involved in a murder mystery which ends up mirroring a series of mystery novels that Harry and Harmony read when they were younger. With a brilliant script and some great acting this film is criminally underrated. Has a great action climax.
3. Brazil (1985)
Terry Gilliam’s masterpiece. A black comedy. Sam Lowry (Jonathan Pryce), a low-ranking bureaucrat pursues the woman of his (literal) dreams, the truck driver Jill Layton (Kim Griest), in a bureaucratic dystopian nightmare. The set design in this film is incredible. Great supporting cast includes Michael Palin, Katherine Helmond, Peter Vaughan, Ian Holm, Jim Broadbent, Bob Hoskins, Ian Richardson, and Robert De Niro as rogue heating engineer Archibald “Harry” Tuttle. Named Brazil due to the song Brazil which is used often in the soundtrack.
2. Happiest Season (2020)
As a lesbian I’m biased here, but I think this film is adorable. Harper (Mackenzie Davis) decides to take her girlfriend Abby (Kristen Stewart) to her family home for Christmas. However, Harper reveals to Abby, shortly before they get there, that she hasn’t told her family she is gay and so they have to pretend to be roommates, which ends up putting a strain on their relationship. Aubrey Parker and Dan Levy have great supporting roles.
No. 1. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
Michael Caine plays Ebenezer Scrooge and the other cast includes Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchit, Miss Piggy as Emily Cratchit, Robin the Frog as Tiny Tim, and The Great Gonzo as Charles Dickens, the narrator. Includes songs and a number of other beloved muppets. What’s not to like here? Is this possibly the greatest Christmas movie of all time?
What movies do you like watching during Christmas?
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©️Joanne Fisher 2023
Well it’s Christmas Day here now. I hope you all have a great time this holiday season.
Happy Solstice!
Katherine arrived home to find the living room was covered in decorations. There was a tree covered in lights and baubles with a stack of gift wrapped presents under it in the corner, as well as sparkly decorations on the mantelpiece and the walls. She briefly wondered if she was in the right house.
“Happy Solstice!” said a voice behind her. She turned around to see Sylvia in a Santa hat smiling.
“Happy Solstice? It looks like you’re celebrating Christmas. I was only away a couple of hours. It looks like you’ve been busy.” Katherine replied.
“Don’t be silly! It would be weird if vampires celebrated Christmas. Anyway, Christmas is celebrated at this time of year because it was when the pagans celebrated the Solstice. Even the Christmas tree was originally a pagan tradition.” Sylvia informed her.
“Yes I know this, though it was originally the Roman celebration of Saturnalia, but to me it looks you’re really wanting to celebrate Christmas. Look it’s okay if you want to celebrate it. Many people of different faiths celebrate Christmas because they like it, even those without any beliefs.” Katherine answered.
“Look where you’re standing!” Sylvia pointed out excitedly. Katherine looked around confused.
“What do you mean?” She asked. Sylvia walked right up to her and kissed her on the lips.
“You’re right under the mistletoe.” Sylvia told her. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed.
“Happy holidays!” Katherine said before they kissed again.
Joanne Fisher
I’m not sure I’ll be doing another post before Christmas. In case I don’t, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays (if you’re celebrating). 🥳
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©️2022 Joanne Fisher
I was planning to write a story for Christmas, but unfortunately nothing has come to mind, though hopefully there’ll be some posts after Christmas.
Whatever you are celebrating at this time of year, whether it is Christmas or some other festivity (religious or otherwise), I hope you all have a wonderful time with your family and friends, or even with just yourself (as I am doing this year).
Please support this blog – Ko-fi 🙂
©️2021 Joanne Fisher
What’s the Story?
“So what’s the story about then?”
“It’s about the miser Ebenezer Scrooge who is visited by three Christmas ghosts during Christmas morning to make him change his ways.”
“Three Christmas goats?”
“No, ghosts.”
“It would be more interesting with goats.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Did you know goats are good climbers, have four stomachs, and have rectangular shaped pupils that allow them to see 340 degrees around them?”
“What is this: goat fun facts day?”
“Imagine the Goat of Christmas Past being the cutest littlest Christmas goat.”
“The Goat of Christmas Past? You do know the story don’t you?”
Joanne Fisher
This was written with the prompt about the littlest Christmas goat provided by the Carrot Ranch December 2 Flash Fiction Challenge.
I’ve been avoiding this one as I wasn’t so sure about the prompt. That said, I think I made a decent stab at it.
Please support this blog – Ko-fi 🙂
©️2021 Joanne Fisher
Christmas at the Farm
“Wake up! Wake up! It’s Christmas!” Jess was awoken by Cindy excitedly bouncing on their bed. She slowly opened her eyes and beheld Cindy’s beaming face right in front of hers.
“Merry Christmas love!” Jess got out just before Cindy kissed her.
“Merry Christmas!” Cindy replied before bouncing excitedly on the bed again.
“You’re still a kid at heart, aren’t ya?” Jess said as she sat up in the bed. “I guess we should put some coffee on.”
“Or, we could open our presents!” Cindy exclaimed. Jess shook her head.
“I guess we can do both.” she replied. Jess slowly got out of bed while Cindy bounced down the hall into the living room. She went to the kitchen and put the coffee pot on the stove and then sedately walked into the living room. Cindy was already by tree looking through the presents.
“So I guess we’re doing presents now.” Jess remarked. Cindy beamed a smile at her and handed her a small parcel. After unwrapping it, Jess found a box which had an embroidered silver bracelet inside.
“It’s beautiful!” Jess remarked. “Did you find this at a fairyland market too?” Cindy rolled her eyes.
“I found it in the town market.” she replied. “Anyway it’s Faerie not Fairyland.”
“Well it was a great find, wherever you found it.” Jess replied as she put the bracelet around her wrist. She then kneeled in front of the tree and dug out two presents for Cindy. In the smaller present was a necklace, while in the other was a red covered diary with thick creme coloured pages, along with a set of fine tipped pens.
“Nice.” Cindy said.
“Before you went off to the city you wanted to be a writer. Since you got back you haven’t said a word about that. I thought if you had any thoughts or ideas you could write them down in the diary. You have one of the most active imaginations I know of. Just because you help run the farm, it doesn’t mean you should give up on your other dreams. Maybe you could write about your life here on the farm and your experiences.” Jess told her. Cindy smiled and gave Jess a long hug.
Among the other presents from friends and Jess’s parents, there were chocolates and socks and sweaters and candy and cups and other gifts. There was also a squeeze-toy for Lucky and a catnip mouse for Rainbow. After they went through them, there were just two presents remaining. Two small gift wrapped boxes. They both stared at them quizzically.
“Have you seen those presents before?” Jess asked. Cindy shook her head. Jess picked one of them up. “This says: To Jessica, Merry Christmas, from Father Christmas.” Cindy picked up the other one.
“This one says: To Cynthia, Merry Christmas, from Father Christmas.” They both looked at each other oddly.
“They definitely weren’t there last night when I went to bed. Did someone deliver them this morning?” Jess asked. Cindy shook her head.
“No.” she replied. Jess looked puzzled.
“Then how did they get here then?” Jess asked. Cindy turned to look at the fireplace. She was sure she could see faint sooty boot-prints on the floor.
Joanne Fisher
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone! I hope 2021 is much better year for everyone.
©️2020 Joanne Fisher
Example
The elf had preached open defiance
of the mean tyrant Man in Red
to rise up from their slavery of
making toys until they were dead
but Santa had got wind of
the elf’s rebellious words and deeds
so, as an example, crucified
him then and there, to snuff out seeds
of rebellion, by making others watch
him tie this elf to the lamppost
as a warning to never disobey
his words, or else they would be toast
instead, the other elves began
to talk among themselves and
plotting in secrecy planned
to kick Santa out of their land
Santa did not realise his cruel
reign of terror was coming to an end
from now on his days were numbered
with him gone, the elves would be on the mend
Joanne Fisher
Word count: 132
Don’t take this too seriously….
This is my second take on the photo prompt provided by Crimson’s Creative Challenge #110.
©️2020 Joanne Fisher
This Christmas
“So what did you do at Christmas?” Stacey asked.
“Mum would make us scrambled eggs with lots of butter and toasted homemade bread. Then we would open presents. One of us would hand them all out, and then we’d open them one at a time going round the room. In the evening we’d have dinner with the rest of the family, and of course, open more presents.” Hannah replied.
“Nice.”
“But I’m missing it this year since I’ve been kicked out for being lesbian.” Stacey hugged Hannah.
“We’ll just have to start our own traditions then.” Stacey told her.
Joanne Fisher
This was written with the prompt to write a story that includes family traditions provided by the Carrot Ranch December 3 Flash Fiction Challenge.
©️2020 Joanne Fisher
My gnome helper came into my room to find me tapping away at my computer.
“Are you still at work Mistress Joanne?”
“Yes I wanted to write a Christmas story for my blog.”
“But it’s after midnight, and it’s Christmas Day already I do believe.”
“Yes it is now.” I replied.
“How is your story going?” the gnome asked.
“Not so well. At the moment I just seem to be writing a whole lot of dialogue, and not much else.”
“I’m sure it will be fine. Anyway what are you doing for Christmas?”
“Not much. I’m by myself this year.”
“Oh! And there are no decorations up!” the gnome pointed out.
“Yes I miss decorations and having a Christmas tree. It really hasn’t felt like Christmas so far.” The gnome looked at me sadly. “So I’m not really expecting too much this year.”
“Maybe in the morning everything will seem better.” the gnome advised.
“Maybe.” I answered, though I couldn’t see how it would.
Feeling tired and unable to stop yawning, I gave up on the story and closed my laptop. I had done some shopping today and ended up walking quite far with heavy groceries. It was time to finally get some sleep.
When I woke up in the morning I thought I heard voices from down below. I could also smell something roasting. Curious, I walked down the stairs to investigate. To my surprise the entire living room was festooned with Christmas decorations and a tall Christmas tree now stood there with blinking lights and colourfully wrapped presents lying under it. In the center of the room were a number of gnomes in a circle. When I walked in they all looked at me.
“Merry Christmas!” they exclaimed.
“Merry Christmas!’ I replied confused. My gnome helper walked up to me.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I invited my family round and we decided to decorate the place. As you’ve been unwell lately we hoped it might cheer you up.”
“That’s most welcome!” I replied looking around the room in wonder.
“I didn’t want you to be on your own today.” the gnome told me. “And we’ve prepared a nice Christmas meal for you too!”
“Thank you! It smells really good.”
So I ended up spending the day eating, drinking, and laughing with my new gnome friends. At the days end I knew it had been the best Christmas for a long time.
Joanne Fisher
Just thought it would be nice to write a cute Christmas story.
©2019 Joanne Fisher
joanne the geek 