Meela and Caelynn Have A Serious Talk With The Author (fiction)

Half-elf Pirate by Bob Kehl

 

Meela and Caelynn Have A Serious Talk With The Author.

 

Meela and Caelynn kissed. Caelynn was lying down on the bed while Meela straddled her body. It was one of those long deep kisses, then Meela began going down Caelynn’s body licking her soft skin until she was between Caelynn’s legs. Caelynn opened her eyes and then gave a look of surprise.

“She’s here!’ she cried out in alarm. “She’s returned.”

“What?!” Meela exclaimed. She got out of the bed and looked at me. “We haven’t seen you for ages and now you’re watching us have sex you sick freak?”

“I’m sorry. I just thought I would check up on you two.” I explained. Meela just looked at me unimpressed and shook her head.

“So where have you been?” She asked standing there completely naked.

‘I’ve been busy.” I replied.

“Yeah right!” She answered.  “How come you haven’t finished our story? You’re meant to be telling your world of our exploits, but for quite a few months now there’s been nothing except some ongoing sick story about vampires you’ve been writing instead. What’s wrong with you? And what’s this thing you have with vampires anyway? Seriously, are you seeing someone about that?”

“I’m sorry. Your story is all there in my head. I just have to find the time to sit down and write it.” I explained. Meela just shook her head and folded her arms.

“I just think you’re just being lazy. It’s all just excuses with you. Don’t make me come there and kick your arse down the street.” She threatened.

“And how would you do that?” I asked.

“Easy. I’d just punch a hole through reality and I’d be there in no time.” she answered.

“I don’t think that sounds like a good idea…”

“Pfft… I’m a sorceress. I know what I’m doing.”

“Er…”

“And I’d help her.” Caelynn added. She was still in the bed but was now covering herself up with sheets.

“Why are covering yourself up anyway? I already know what you look like naked.” I told Caelynn.

“Could you get that freak to leave already?” Caelynn complained.

All of a sudden a few others appeared in the cabin. They all looked at me unhappily.

“Why am I so evil and angry all the time?” asked the Emperor.

“Why do I increasingly look like Christopher Lee in your head?” the Arch-wizard wondered.

“What side am I actually on? inquired the Seer.

“Listen all of you! Eventually I will get around to finishing your story. Just have some faith in me!” The cabin became dreadfully silent as they all stared at me reproachfully. Meela sighed.

“All of you out of my cabin! This is my ship. Now get out!” She began herding the others out. Then she turned to face me. “And you! You better finish the story or there’ll be consequences!” She began to threateningly pound her fist into her other hand in front of me.

“Okay I’ll take care of it!”

“Good. Could you leave Caelynn and myself alone now? We need to resume our, er, business.” She said as she began pushing me out of the cabin.

“I’m the author. All of this is in my head anyway.” I protested as I was pushed through the door.

“Yeah yeah! Just go already will ya!” Meela slammed the cabin door in my face. Through the door I could hear them starting to resume their lovemaking. “Stop listening through the door and leave Jo!” I heard Meela call out.

Shaking my head I walked up the stairs and found myself on the main deck. We were sailing through some clouds. Below there was a forest that seemed to go on without end.

“We must be sailing over Larantel.” I mused.

 

Joanne Fisher

 

It’s been a while since I wrote about Meela and Caelynn. The story is there in my head and I have been feeling rather guilty about not completing it. Still, as I promised Meela, it will be finished eventually…

 

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